


Five Years of Misery

by Yasha_Alex



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Original Character(s), References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasha_Alex/pseuds/Yasha_Alex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 16th May<br/>Aaron said to Robert to get out of his life and that’s what he’s done. He packed his bags and left the village. In five years he comes back to face Aaron and his new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is such an experiment! I need to say that English is not my native language so this work is not going to be perfect! I just had this idea in my head and decided to give it a try. If it’s too awful just let me know and promise i'll put an end to it immediately!)

The sound of ringing phone woke Aaron. He groaned with irritation and rejected the call not even opening his eyes. He didn’t know who was calling and he didn’t care because it was his day off and he had every right to sleep in his bed without being disturbed. But apparently somebody on the other side had another idea because the phone began to ring again after several minutes. Aaron understood that his only option was to turn it off and that was exactly what he's done. He turned on his left side, hugged his pillow tighter when another sound appeared. It was his boyfriend's phone.

“Don’t answer.” He mumbled, knowing that he probably would be ignored anyway.  
  
“It can be something important.” He’s heard the answer and felt the movement beside him.  
  
“Whatever.” If this guy didn’t want to enjoy his spare from the work time it was his problem, not Aaron’s.

Aaron was configured to spend at least a half of the day in the bed today, because now it's rare when he can afford himself something like that. He’s had the busiest month ever: a lot of work, a new investor, thousands of meetings, troubles with Liv and so on. His head always was filled with his life problems and the only thing he wanted was to rest. And spend all day in the bed, preferably with his boyfriend, seemed like a great opportunity to do it. But it seems that life was against him because he felt how the man lying next to him jumped out of the bed listening to somebody on the phone. Aaron opened his eyes to see what’s happening, he felt that something was wrong. And as soon as he saw Marc’s face, he realized that he was right. The man looked worried and his usually tanned face went pale. 

“Ok, we’ll be there soon!” He hanged up the phone and looked straight at Aaron.  
  
“What's wrong?”  
  
“It was Adam. Vic got into an accident. She’s in hospital.”  
  
Aaron didn’t need to hear anything else. He jumped out of the bed and rushed to the wardrobe. He didn’t know what has happened but surely he needed to be there.  
  
Within one hour they’ve reached the hospital.

On the way to the building Aaron turned the phone on and saw that it was Adam who was ringing him the whole morning and Aaron couldn’t stop curse himself for ignoring his best friend. Thanks God he has Marc who always does right things like picking up his phone. Adam didn’t tell him much, only that there was a car accident and Vic was sent into the hospital. When they arrived Aaron immediately texted Adam to let him know that they were here. Aaron didn't see him anywhere around, so probably he was with Vic and it was a good sign. Marc went to the cafeteria to get them some coffee and Aaron stayed at the waiting room expecting the news.  
  
Aaron hated to be here. In hospital. Too many bad memories. He's faced with too many tragedies in his life here. In fact the only thing he wanted to do now is to turn to the exit and run away as far as it possible. But he really needed to see Adam and Vic. Make sure that she’s alright. So he closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore his surroundings: pale-yellow walls, white ceiling and other people who were also sitting in the room waiting for the news. He tried his best to abstract from everything.  
  
After several minutes he’s heard footsteps approaching to him. Aaron opened his eyes to see Adam. His friend was in right mess: pouches under red eyes, the clothes which were obviously put on in a hurry, tangled hair and his hands were shaking.  
  
“Oh, mate, for a moment I thought that I’ve lost her,” he pronounced and Aaron sprung out on his feet to hug him.  
  
He was sure that all this time in hospital Adam had to put on a brave face in front of everybody. But he knew his mate too well not to understand that he’s survived probably the scariest hours of his live. Aaron knew how much Adam loved his wife and that she meant everything to him. Aaron was perfectly aware of what it’s like to lose the love of your live, and he would never wish it to his best friend.  
  
While they were standing here, in the middle of the room in each other's arms, Adam was sobbing on the Aaron’s shoulder. Now it was Aaron’s time to be strong, and he tried to fight back the tears till the end. His heart was aching. It was too hard to see his best mate in such a state.  
  
“How is she?” Aaron asked when Adam moved away and began wiped the tears with the sleeve of his jacket.  
  
“Couple of scratches and left leg is broken. And of course she’s in shock. But aside from it there is nothing serious. Thank God!”  
  
“So what’s happened?” Marc asked, Aaron even didn’t notice that he’s already came back. He gave Aaron one cup of coffee and another one to Adam, and that was nice because he obviously bought it to himself but Adam needed it more.  
  
“She decided to drive Lucy to the kindergarten and on her way back some drunken idiot appeared out of nowhere right in front of her so she had to pull off the road not to run into him. The car bumped into the tree. She struck her head against the wheel and lost consciousness. One woman who was driving behind her, called an ambulance but this bastard run away! Oh, man, I wanna kill him!”  
  
“I'm sure the police will find him. The most important thing is that Vic is alright.” Marc squeezed Aaron's shoulder showing his support. He knew that Vic was like a sister to him.  
  
“You know, you can go and see her. Diane and Andy are with her right now but I'm sure she'll be happy to see your faces. And I'll go and take Lucy home, she needs to know what have happened to her mum.”  
  
“Give you a lift?” Marc asked.  
  
“Nah, thanks, mate, I’ve already asked Doug. You go and make sure that she’s fine while I’m not here, Ok?”  
  
“No problem, bro.” Aaron smiled and hugged his friend again and then Adam left.  
  
Marc and Aaron went to the Vic’s room immediately. They couldn’t wait to see her.  
  
“You shouldn't have done this. You know he will probably drop everything to come here and laugh at my inability to drive! I love him, but...” Vic stopped when Aaron and Marc appeared in the doorway. “Oh, look who’s finally decided to answer his phone!” she exclaimed with wide smile on her face.  
  
“Oh, look who still can't drive!” Aaron answered in the same tone.  
  
“Shut up! I'm in the hospital bed so show a little bit of respect, please!”  
  
They both burst out laughing and Aaron came closer to give her a kiss on the cheek. Her smile was so bright that for a moment he forgot why she was here in the first place. He sat down near her bed next to Andy, who was typing something on his phone, probably to Bernice. Diane was sitting on the other side, holding Vic’s hand. Her eyes were also red of the tears.  
  
Actually Vic didn't look so bad. And Aaron was happy to notice it. Couple of scratches and bruises on the face and a cast on the leg. But still she looked as beautiful as always.  
  
“So now you have to find a new best man, right? Don't think she's in right state for this right now.” Aaron turned to Andy. The man took his attention off the phone and smiled.  
  
"Yeah! I was dreaming to get rid of her and look what's happened! I feel like I was blessed!" Andy played along. Marc giggled, obviously having seen the girl’s facial expression, and Aaron was trying hard to hide his smile. 

Bernice and Andy’s wedding is in a few weeks and Andy’s made Vic his best man again. After Katie it’s going to be his first wedding. He’s nearly married Chrissie once but then understood that if he does it, it will be a mistake so he's broken up with her. Bernice also wasn’t really happy back in those days. She had some marriage problems and at the end her husband's cheated on her with his old lover Ronnie. Luckily he was decent enough to tell her about it right away . Aaron wasn’t in the village then but he knew that there was a big scandal at the Home Farm which's ended up with a great disaster. There was a fire and this guy Ronnie and Chrissie’s son, Lachlan, have died. For Whites it was a real tragedy so they left the village in grief. Bernice and Andy were free again but it was only one year ago when they decided to give their relationships another go and it's worked out amazingly well. Now they were preparing to their wedding and were truly happy. Aaron often heard how Vic and Bernice were sharing their bright ideas of the big wedding with each other and from their words he knew that it’ll be something really unforgettable. But now with Vic in this position it seems like big changes are coming.

Suddenly Andy’s phone rang. He looked at screen and then at Vic. They both looked at each other for a moment, and then he apologised and left the room. Obviously Diane and Vic knew who was ringing and judging by their happy smiles Aaron could suggest the name of the caller too. But he didn’t want to.  
  
“You know, we've watched this film which you’ve advised us and now I have several questions...”  
  
He began to ask some questions the answers on which he didn’t really want to know. His main aim was not only distract her from the thoughts of the accident but also not to let himself thinking about _him._ Five years he managed to live without mention of his name and he definitely didn’t want to remember it now. Past needs to stay there where it belongs, in the past.

* * *

* * *

Robert didn't need to read Andy’s message to the end to sit in the car and drive. The words “Vic” and “car accident” in one sentence were enough for him. His little sister was in hospital and he needed to be there with her. He was at the meeting when Andy rung him first time but he didn’t pick up the phone. But then Robert’s got a text from the brother and he immediately left his office and went to the car. While driving he phoned Andy to know all details.  
  
It turned out that this morning Vic pulled off the road and smashed into the tree. The reason was some drunken pillock who managed to run away. Andy tried to persuade him that Vic was out of danger, couple of bruises and broken leg, but it didn’t satisfy him. So he came home, packed his bag, booked the flight and through several hours he was already rushing through the hospital hall looking for Vic’s room. He didn’t notice anything around him until he reached the right door. Without any hesitation he opened it and came in.

Vic was lying on the hospital bed and speaking with Adam who was sitting near her bed. They were so occupied with their conversation that didn’t even notice Robert at first. So he had to knock the door, being already in the room, to attract some attention. And finally his goal was achieved.  
  
“Robert!” Victoria screamed. “You’ve made it! Oh God! You’ve really came! Come here! Come here!”  
  
Robert came closer and wrapped his arms around his little sister. He buried his nose into her hair. Strangely but he couldn’t believe that he was here, holding her in his arms. He hasn’t seen her for a half of a year now. They were always talking on the phone or by Skype but it wasn’t enough. He missed to see her in the life, missed her touches and smell, missed her laugh and voice. Actually it was his fault that he’s fell out of the Vic's life like this. This year was extremely hard for him, he’s nearly lost his place in the firm so he had no time for families meetings and parties. And he almost never visited his relatives himself especially if they were in Emmerdale.  
  
“I’m so happy to see you!” Victoria was as bright as a sunshine. Robert felt how warm spread through his body. He’s already forgotten how easily she can bring light into everybody’s lives. “See, I just needed to get into the accident for my brother finally to visit me!” She said to Adam.  
  
“Yeah, great.” Adam didn’t even try to hide his irritation. “I better leave you both alone then. Bet you have a lot of to catch up on. I’ll go home, take shower and come back. You’ll sit with her, right?  
  
“Yeah, of course.” Robert smiled but Adam didn’t even look at him. He kissed Vic and left the room. Robert wasn’t surprised.  
  
“You know, I’m still missing the times when you two were friends.” Vic said when her husband closed the door behind him. Robert moved one of the chairs to her bed and sat down.  
  
“And when exactly was it?” He asked. “When I tried to ruin your wedding day or send him to the prison?” Robert laughed.  
  
“Well, he's the one who has problems, not me."  
  
Robert didn’t want to continue this conversation and Vic knew it. Five years ago he and Adam have really managed to get along but then Robert left the village without saying anything. And only after a year of his absence he finally contacted with Vic again. He knew that she's reacted very badly at his leaving, he didn’t even say goodbye to her and she was suffering a lot because of it. Robert hated himself for it but at that moment that seemed like a right thing to do. And of course Adam wasn’t happy with the actions of his brother-in-law, so they’ve became enemies again. Robert made his wife miserable and Adam loathed him for it. But also Robert understands that there is another reason of his hatred here but he tried not to think about it a lot. 

“And where is Lucy? I hoped to see her too.” Robert changed the subject.  
  
He was speaking about his beautiful little niece. She was a little angel with brown hair and big green eyes and Robert loved her like a crazy. She was Vic’s daughter. Vic’s gotten pregnant four years ago and through nine months this little baby girl appeared. Robert didn’t see her a lot when she was only born, but when she celebrated her first birthday, Victoria decided that it was necessary for her to know her uncle Robert. Back then Robert only settled in Germany when his family (Vic, Diane, Lucy, Doug and even Andy) flied to him and they spent together couple of good weeks. Lucy was one year and two months when Robert saw her at first time and it took him a couple of minutes to completely fell in love with her. After that Vic and Lucy visited him every couple of months (without Adam of course) and he had an opportunity to spend some time with his niece. She was the most adorable child he’s ever met.  
  
“She’s staying with Bernice and Andy tonight.” Vic replied. “She will be over the moon when she’ll see you. And Andy will be happy too. You know I asked him not to disturb you but it seemed like he wanted you to be here more than I did. And Diane... you need to go and see Diane too! Oh, Robert, we missed you so much!”  
  
“And I missed you too. Promise first thing in the morning I’ll go and meet all of them.” Robert tried to convince his sister. He knew how much family meant for her and how happy she will be if it’ll reunite at least for a moment.

“So it means you are staying?”

“Yeah, but don't become too enthusiastic. It’s only for a couple of days. I’ll make sure that you’re alright and leave."  
  
He understood that he needed to say it at once. She could raise her hopes too high and it’ll bring her only pain at the end. He hated to come to leave again but he didn’t see another choice. He knew that this is the best option for him. If it was not for Vic’s accident he’d probably never return in the village again.  
  
“But what about Andy and Bernice’s wedding? It’s in two weeks! You could stay for two weeks and come! It’s already bad enough that I can’t attend it properly now,” Vic pointed out on her leg “Wouldn’t it be nice to become a family again?»

“Vic, I don’t know. I have a lot on my plate right now. I’ve already cancelled one important meeting to come here. And I’m missing another one tomorrow. I have a business, Vic!”  
  
“Yeah! And also you have a family, Rob!” Vic cried out with the tears in her eyes. Immediately Robert felt the guilt. He should have been softer with her, especially now. He understands her feelings and wants to change situation but he can’t. He’s too weak but she doesn't see it. 

“Look, I promise to think.” He took her hand and squeezed it slightly. “I don’t promise anything, but I’ll call Dieter and speak with him. If he says that I can stay for a little longer and he manages without me, then I’ll stay. But if he says that he needs me there then I’ll leave, ok?»  
  
Vic nodded in agreement still being sad. Rob smiled lightly. Of course he was lying. Of course he’ll find thousand of other reasons not to stay as he always does, but right now Vic doesn’t need to know it. It was cruel to give her this hope but he just can’t see her so frustrated with him. It was breaking his heart to stay away from his family, and seeing them suffering because of it hurts him even more.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s happened?» Robert decided to change the subject again. “I knew that you and the car are dangerous mix but this... well, you surprised even me!”  
  
“Oh, shut up!” Vic slapped his hand and they laughed together.  
  
During the next hour she was telling him about the accident and how it gathered all close to her people together and how she was secretly happy about it. Then they began to speak about Lucy. Vic told him that her daughter even has a boyfriend now, Tom. He kissed her on cheek several days ago and since then they’re always together. Robert couldn’t stop smiling while listening about it. That seemed so cute and innocent. Then Vic told a little about preparations to Andy’s wedding, about Bernice’s wedding dress and amazing menu which she’s created especially for the occasion. Robert just sat there and listened, he simply enjoyed the moment.  
  
He has some mates in Germany, sometimes he goes out with them and has some fun, but it is not enough. They’re always discussing their work and business, their plans on the future. There are some of them who really like to tell about their wives and children, and another part like to shout that they're going to be bachelors forever, but Robert didn't belong to any of them. He didn’t feel safe to speak with them about his family or love life, which didn't even exist. It seemed to him too intimate. Some guys tried to make him open up to them about his personal stuff and past but he made it clear that this subject's never gonna be discussed. They accepted it and stopped their attempts. So Robert was the one who always listening to them, but in reality he didn't care about their stories either. He calls them his mates but the reality is that he has no real friends. He's alone and he's kind of used to it. But sitting here with Victoria and listening all her stories about her friends, neighbors and family was such a pleasure. He felt like he's finally there where he belongs. Finally he feels himself safe. Well kind of. He still only listens, but now he wants to do it. He wants Vic never to become silent, to keep talking and talking and Robert would just nodding his head and smiling. But at the end she got tired and fell asleep.  
  
He covered her with the blanket and came back on the chair. He didn’t want to leave her. Not now. So he was sitting and watched her sleeping. He remembered the times when they were children. Some nights Vic came to him because of nightmares, and he had to go with her in her room and to sit near her bed until she fell asleep. He promised her that he would chase all monsters away and she always believed him. And now he felt like they’re children again and he’s sitting here to make this world a little bit safer for her.  
  
Suddenly the opened and Robert saw how unknown to him man entered the room. Tall skinny guy with black hair dressed in jeans and sweater froze and stared at Robert.  
  
“Sorry, do you want something?” Robert whispered trying not to wake Vic.  
  
“Yeah.” The guy replied uncertainly. It was obvious that Robert confused him somehow. “I was here earlier and forgot my jacket.”  
  
He looked around the room and his gaze stopped at the chair on which Robert was sitting. Robert turned his head and saw that there was a black leather jacket on its back.  
  
“Yours?” Robert asked. The guy nodded. Robert took it off and gave it to him.  
  
“Thanks. I actually hate this thing, but my boyfriend will kill me if I lose it. He has a soft spot for it. Don’t know why, really...”  
  
“You’ve got what you needed so you can go now. Vic needs to rest.” Robert didn’t even try to be nice and hide his will to get rid of the stranger. Probably it was some new bloke of Finn, he doesn’t really care. He just wanted to be with his sister alone.  
  
“Charming...” The guy mumbled and left.  
  
Robert rolled his eyes and returned his attention to Vic.  
  
While watching her he didn't notice how fell asleep himself.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Aaron was sitting in the kitchen when he heard the beginnings of an intriguing conversation. Usually, he wasn’t one for listening in on other people’s conversations, but there was just something about this one which made him want to listen. Ross and Charity were talking behind the door, probably thinking that they were alone.

Several years had passed, but Ross and Charity’s relationship still seemed strange to Aaron. One day, they were partners in crime and the next day they were lovers. To be honest, Aaron didn’t care about their relationship – as long as it didn’t affect him.  The only disadvantage to Aaron was that recently Ross had been staying over at the pub a lot - and Aaron didn't like that - especially right now as he and Marc had no choice but to live in the pub too.

Aaron was minding his own business and drinking his tea, Marc was washing the dishes when they heard Ross exclaiming, "I know what I saw Charity. It was him!"

"Yeah, and I also know that you were drunk! He was the one who ran away and didn’t even say goodbye! There is no way he’d come back!" Charity answered, opening the door and entering the room where Aaron and Marc were. "Good morning,” she smiled to them. Well, she smiled at Aaron, Charity didn’t like Marc and she didn’t try to hide it. According to her Marc was ‘boring’, and, by Charity’s standards, that was a good enough reason to ignore him.

"Who’s this you saw?" Aaron asked Ross. He couldn’t say he was interested, but Ross looked really annoyed that Charity didn't believe what he was saying.

 Ross didn't answer straight away. He and Charity exchanged glances, staring at each other as if they were discussing something telepathically.

 "Go on, tell him."

Charity had given up fighting with Ross. Sometimes they could understand each other without words. Maybe that was a real love?

"Okay, so yesterday night I was in Leeds with Finn and Pete. And we were on the way home in a taxi when I noticed someone." Ross sounded excited, pausing dramatically before he spoke again, "It was Sugden!"

"Andy? Wait, that's not possible… he was with us in the pub yesterday night." Aaron speculated, finishing his tea. "Anyway, why is that so exciting?" He really didn't understand what the fuss was about. Andy’s wedding was in a few weeks, he was probably preparing a surprise for Bernice – something like that, anyway. Not really a crime.

"Not that Sugden, you idiot!" Ross rolled his eyes.

Aaron sat confused for a minute or two. What was Ross talking about? What other Sugden? He could see how Ross and Charity were looking at him. Like hungry animals are looking at their victims prey. They were clearly expecting some sort of reaction from him.

And then it struck him. Well, he knew that it was going to happen one day – but he just didn't want to believe it.

"Oh, the other Sugden…” Aaron mumbled. “Probably came to visit Vic."

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Robert was one of his first thoughts after the accident. He had noticed Victoria and Andy smiling when someone had phoned them. Of course it was Robert. He was bound to want to come. His sister was everything to him, and he wouldn't be able to put his mind at rest until he saw that Victoria was fine for himself. And well, here he is…

"So, who exactly are you talking about?" Marc asked having seated himself next to Aaron. Charity and Ross were silent. They wanted Aaron to say it. They were both evil like that.

"Vic's other brother." Aaron explained and then added quietly, "Robert."

It felt strange. The sound of his name felt strange on his tongue. Alien even. He hadn’t spoken that name for a long time. It was probably stupid of him to cut Robert, and his name, out of his life, but Aaron felt it helped. Yes, maybe it was a little childish. But he had made it clear to everyone around him that he didn’t want to hear that name again. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, but one day everyone just stopped talking about Robert in his presence. It was probably Chas who helped achieve this and he was grateful to her for doing such a thing for him. He couldn’t bear even the tiniest mention of him. But now, now Robert was back in the village,  Aaron knew that this wouldn't be possible anymore. He was sure the news of Robert’s return would be all over the village within the hour, everybody will be too invested in the topic of Robert's return to think about Aaron's feelings. The most awful thing was that Aaron really did feel something. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly, but his heart began to beat faster and the room he was in became unbearably hot - he even felt sweat on his forehead. And, what’s worse, this was only at the mention of his name, what's happens if he sees him?

"So… he's back." Chas’ words drew all the attention to her as she entered the room. “Probably he won't be staying long. And he's not welcome here."

Everything achieved between Robert and Chas was ruined by his leaving. It took Chas a matter of seconds to begin to hate him again. The same happened with Adam. For some reason they thought that if they changed their attitude towards Robert, it would somehow help Aaron. That was stupid. Nothing could’ve helped him. Aaron sometimes wondered if, secretly, Chas was actually happy about Robert leaving. Despite everything Robert did for Aaron, Chas never could stop thinking that her son was better off without him. She was probably right.

“He has come unexpectedly once before and didn’t want to stay. And, well, we all know how that ended.” Charity said, looking between Chas and Aaron.

"Vic has been in an accident." Aaron said grumpily. "Of course he came to see her. Robert is a lot of things, but he always loved Vic. We can't deny that. I’m sure that he’s gone in a few days.”

Aaron saw Ross whisper something to Charity and the pair giggled together.  Aaron was getting angry. If Ross had something to say, well then he could say it to all of them. He was about to say this to Ross when Marc interfered. 

"And what does this Robert look like?”

"Tall. Blond hair. Blue eyes."

Well, actually his eyes were a mix of blue and green, sea-green, Aaron noted, but he didn't interrupt Charity. "And he's quite hot, if you ask me. Why?"

"I think I saw him yesterday." Marc replied.

"What?" said Aaron, probably more concerned than he should be. His exclamation was too loud. He looked too alarmed. And yet, he didn't care. He had spent all day with Marc yesterday. How was it possible that Marc saw Robert and Aaron didn't?

"Yesterday, I had forgotten about my jacket, and accidentally left it in the hospital. You had fallen asleep early, so I went back to the hospital to go and pick it up. You got me this, remember?  When I went into Vic’s room to fetch it some tall blond guy was there watching Vic sleep. I presume it was this Robert."

Marc knew almost nothing about Robert. He didn’t know about his appearance, his past and especially about his relations with Aaron. Aaron was not really sure how he managed to hide all this information from him. He had told Marc about Jackson: about Jackson’s death; about his self-harming and about being abused as a child – but he had never mentioned Robert. Well, he had told Marc that there was a bloke who had helped him through Gordon’s sentencing and through Gordon's suicide. But he made it clear that this relationship was over and he didn’t want to talk about it. Marc had guessed that Aaron wasn’t telling him the full story, but he was too understanding to ask any questions. Aaron had also made sure Chas, Vic, Liv, Adam, Charity and everyone else in the village kept quiet about this part of his life. He had always waited for the moment when the truth about their famous affair would come out - but it never happened. He and Robert were old news. Nobody cared about them anymore.

"And…and what did he say?" Did Aaron really need to know what Robert said? No. Did he know why he was so nervous? No. Did he know why he suddenly felt way too hot? No. He had no clue how Robert could still manage affect him in such a way.

"Nothing much." Marc shrugged his shoulders.  "Actually, he couldn't wait to get rid of me. Quite prick is he. He knows no manners".

"Sounds like our Robert." Charity laughed causing Aaron to stare at her angrily. The word "our" was a mistake. Marc didn't need to know that Aaron's family was closely acquainted with Robert. But obviously it was too late. Marc was far too interested.

"So you know him well?" He asked.  Ross whispered something to Charity and giggled. She hit his shoulder, showing her disapproval but Aaron noticed that she was trying to hide a smile too. Charity and Ross didn't like Marc, so of course they were going to enjoy the moment.

"Well he came here a lot when Diane lived here, so of course we knew him." Chas found the right answer, distracting Marc from Charity and Ross.

"I just find it strange that I’ve never really heard about him. I knew that Vic and Andy had another brother and that he lives in Germany, but no photos, no nothing."

Aaron rudely interrupted him. "Sorry, what did you say about him living in Germany?"

Of course he didn't know! He decided to erase Robert from his life completely. Not only did he say not to mention Robert’s name around him, he also refused to listen to any talk of where he lives now. Victoria made several attempts to tell him, but in the end she gave up. However, the fact that even Marc knew where Robert was made him feel …. somehow jealous? And he wasn't exactly sure who he was jealous of.

“I never asked.” Aaron knew that he sounded too sad when he said this; and he didn’t know for what reason. But somehow he felt betrayed. And he felt angry. He felt angry at Marc for not telling him. It was stupid because Marc didn't even know about Aaron's history with Robert. There was no need for Aaron to feel this way, but he just couldn’t change it.

Aaron couldn’t let Marc see him like this. He needed to go. Now.

"Look, I don't have time to talk about Robert Sugden right now. I have a work to do." And with that he stood up, facing his Mum. He could see the pity in her eyes. She knew him too well. She knew how he felt, and she pitied him. And he hated it. He hated looking weak in front of her. Aaron had done so well for himself these past few years and now suddenly Robert appears to ruin it... he couldn’t let that happen.

"I'll be alright." He whispered into her ear as he kissed her cheek. He wasn’t one for public displays of affection - but he needed her to hear it.

"I know." She whispered back and Aaron smiled. That was enough for him.

Sooner or later Robert will leave. Aaron knows Robert, and he always leaves. He'll be alright. Everything will be alright. Aaron just hoped that he wouldn’t come face-to-face with the man he used to love.

* * *

Robert didn't usually wake up so late. Due to his work schedule, he was usually already on his feet at six in the morning. But now it was midday and here his was, still lying in the bed, enjoying the moment. It was the nurse who awoke him yesterday, telling him he needed to go. He had kissed Vic, who was still sleeping, and left. He had booked a room in the hotel in Leeds, called Dieter to explain his absence, rented a car via the internet and went to bed. He was knackered and quite rightly so, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Robert had decided that Andy and Diane were his main priority today. He had promised Vic that he would meet up with them – and he meant it. Fortunately, Robert knew new address of his brother, as Andy had already tried to invite him over couple of months ago. Bernice and Andy had bought a little house outside the village, and so Robert wouldn’t have to drive directly into Emmerdale. They still lived close to the village, but Robert had decided that the chances of him bumping into someone who he was familiar with were highly unlikely. And this was satisfactory.

It took Robert about half an hour to freshen himself up, to eat and get dressed up. He was glad to notice that his car was already in the garage, admitting to himself that it was worth the money he'd spent on the vehicle. As he drove to Andy’s he felt happy. He felt excited. He had missed his brother just as much as he missed Vic. He couldn't wait to finally meet him, to hug him tight and to catch up on everything he’s missed. Andy had visited Robert a lot in Germany, and when Vic couldn't Andy had replaced her - it was their golden rule.  They didn't want Robert thinking that they've forgotten about him. Andy had even lived with his younger brother for several months. Several hard months. They’d been through some crazy times with each other and it was on these occasions when the brothers eventually understood what the word "brother" really meant. Remembering those times made Robert's skin crawl. He was in a really dark place back then and he didn’t like to think about it too much. But he was so grateful that out of all people who could have helped him, it was Andy who had been the one to do so. He would be forever grateful him for this.

Yet, despite all the excitement, he suddenly felt nervous as he approached the front door.  He raised his hand to knock but his knuckles were never allowed to meet the wooden surface as, unexpectedly, the door was opened wide and a small hurricane passed him, angrily speaking to somebody on the phone. It was Gabby. Robert had to step aside not to be knocked down by her.

"It's my last warning! Either you call me now or I’ll speak to you brother!" She snarled. Robert didn't know what had happened but the girl was in a right mood. If he was the person on the other side of the conversation he would watch his back! "I mean it Liv, you think you’re so clever, well…let’s see what Aaron has to say about it! Bet he'll lock you in your room and..."

Robert didn't hear the rest of the conversation. He only needed to hear that name once for the world to stop around him. Everything froze. No more wind. No more rustling leaves. No more singing of birds. No more nothing. All it took was to hear Aaron’s name spoken aloud. Aaron. How beautiful and alien it sounded. How he wanted pronounce it himself. To feel it on his tongue. But he couldn't. The last time he said Aaron’s name, he nearly died. And Robert didn’t need that anymore.

"Hey, what are you doing? Your mum told you, you were under house arrest! So you can't leave!" Andy came out of the house following Gabby. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a brown jacket, he was probably going somewhere and Robert was happy to catch him.

"I'm not a child!" Gabby cried out and Robert noticed how Andy rolled his eyes. He bet that Andy was fed up with Gabby, she always was a troubled girl. A little prat actually. It looked like nothing had changed.

"Where are you going anyway?" Andy gave up.

"To see Aaron!"

There it was again. His name. His beautiful name. God, how Robert missed it.

He knew that as soon as Andy saw him he'd change the subject so as not to hurt his feelings – but Robert wished he wouldn’t. He wanted to hear more. He wanted to learn that bit more about the situation, about Aaron. It didn't affect him, but he didn't care. That's why he just continued to stand silently behind Andy's back. Gabby was too angry to pay him any attention.

"If this is about Liv again, then leave the poor guy alone! Only yesterday he was complaining to me about how you two do his head in! He has enough problems without adding yours to the mix.'

"What problems?" Robert didn't mean to ask the question aloud. He was just supposed to think it, not realising he had blurted it out. But to hear about Aaron and his supposed problems was scary, because he knew what Aaron and his problems meant. Last time Aaron had problems, he nearly died in Robert's arms. He didn’t even want to think that something like that could happen again. No matter what had happened between Aaron and Robert in the past, if something was to happen to Aaron, Robert couldn’t bear it. Nothing's changed.

"Robert..." Andy turned to him, having finally noticed the presence of his younger brother. Shock was written all over his face. Obviously Vic hadn’t mentioned his arrival. Robert found this surprising as he was sure that Victoria would have told everyone about his return by now.

"Oh God!" Gabby said. She’d noticed him too.

Gabby looked at him for several minutes and then she turned and ran. If nobody knew about Robert’s return before hand, they definitely would now. This wasn’t good, but Robert knew that it was inevitable.

“Robert!” Andy repeated. There was no shock on his face anymore, only happiness. He had a huge grin on his face. He was definitely happy to see his younger brother. That was a relief at least. Part of Robert had been worried that something would have changed between the brothers. They’ve never got along for a long time before, but this was an exception.

“I’m so happy that you’ve come!” said Andy, hugging him tightly. Robert smiled.

“I’m surprised that Vic hadn’t told you I was back!”

Together they walked back into the house, Andy leading him into the kitchen.

‘I’ve just spoken to her actually.” Andy pointed out the phone on the table. “She didn’t mention you, but she made me promise to go and see her immediately. She didn’t say for what was so urgent, but I can see now. So I guess she called you too?”

Robert hastily unlocked his phone. Nine missed calls from his sister. He had forgot that he’d put it on silent before going to sleep yesterday.

“Diane is already there. It looks like Vic is planning a family reunion!” Andy concluded. Robert nodded in agreement. He had promised Vic to meet with Andy and Diane himself - but obviously she had her own plans.

“Oh God, well, I think we better go, otherwise she might kill us!” laughed Robert.

“Yeah, you’re right. Give me couple of minutes, I’ll call Bernice and then we can go.” Andy picked up his phone, leaving the room. He was probably going to tell her about Gabby, leaving the room so that Robert wouldn’t listen in on their conversation. It appeared that Andy hoped that Robert would forget what he and Gabby had been talking about, but that was impossible. How could he forget such a thing when it was connected to Aaron? He planned to speak with Andy about this; but not right now. His family was expecting him. And he just couldn’t wait…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still can't believe that somebody have liked the 1st chapter and now i'm posting the next one! It's just WOW! Hope you'll enjoy this one too and, please, let me know what you think about it, every kind of reactions makes me really happy!  
> And i want to thank one person, Amelia ('ameliasfanfics'), for checking this text for me and i want you to thank her too, cause she's done unbelievably good job and her help was absolutely amazing! Seriously, you can't even imagine! So again: Thank you, Amelia!))


	3. Chapter 3

“Robert! You’re back!”

Robert had barely made it into the room as Diane rushed over to him, holding him in her embrace. Diane squeezed him so tight that for a moment Robert thought that he would die from the lack of air. But he didn’t say a word, giving himself the opportunity to enjoy the feeling of real love that he was receiving from his stepmother. Because of her age, and her state of the health, she couldn’t visit him as much as Victoria and Andy did. He phoned her regularly; but seeing Diane was different. He appreciated the feeling of holding his stepmother in his arms.

“How are you? How are you feeling?” Robert would ask Diane the same questions every time they came together. She had been given the all clear from the doctors about her cancer. She was out of danger – but like that would stop Robert worrying about her!  Diane was like a mother to him; he couldn’t even bear the thought of losing her.

“Oh, I’m fine! But tell me Robert, how are you? Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming? Why did nobody tell me about your visit?”

Her last question was addressed, not to Robert, but to Andy and Vic.

“I only found out myself a couple of hours ago, so don’t give me that look!” Andy came to Victoria and kissed her.

“Robert made me promise to not tell anyone.” Victoria answered innocently, like she wasn’t the one who had gathered them all together!

“ It was my fault, Diane. I came quite late and didn’t want to disturb you in the night. But, look, as soon as I woke up I went to Andy’s – told him I was planning to come and see you - but my wonderful little sister had another plan, didn’t she?

Robert glanced at Vic and the girl made a grimace in return. God, she’s such a child!

“So, how long are you planning to stay here?” Robert and Diane were seated closely together near Vic’s bed, but all her attention was on her stepson. “Will you stay for the wedding?”

That was a dangerous question. Robert could already feel Vic’s eyes burning the hole in him.

“Don’t know yet.” He answered honestly. “I need to speak to Dieter first. We have a crazy life so I can’t promise anything!” It was a lie, most probably. Robert and Dieter weren’t quite so busy - but his family didn’t need to know this.

“So you haven’t phoned him yet?” said Victoria, not making any attempts to hide her irritability. Robert could tell by the look Victoria was giving him that she wanted this call made ASAP.

 “No, I was too tired. I’ll call him tonight.”

“Why can’t you call him now?”

Oh, God! Sometimes Vic could be really persistent. Robert loved her with all his heart but sometimes, at certain moments, he wished that she was less annoying.

“Because he’s at MY meeting! You know I had a meeting to attend but instead I have came here to see you , my little sister, I’m so sorry to disappoint!”

Robert didn’t mean to sound angry. He didn’t mean to take his anger out on Vic, but he didn’t know in what other way he could handle the situation. From the sadness in Victoria’s eyes he understood that she’d got the message and this made him feel a sudden pang of guilt. She didn’t deserve this.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just...” Robert couldn’t find the words to explain himself. He reworded his sentence. “I’ll call him, I promise.”

“Good. But don’t act like you’re doing this for us! You’re doing it for yourself too!” Victoria said her sentence with such conviction that it was almost as if this is what she truly believed. Robert wasn’t so sure this was the case.

“Seriously? And how’s that?”

“You always say how lonely you are, and now you have a chance to…a chance to be less lonely! Look, stay with us, with your family, I mean at least for a week and I’m sure you’ll feel better!”

“Wait! I’ve never told you I was lonely!”

Obviously Victoria was imagining things. No way would he say something like that. Even if he truly felt this way, Vic would be the last person he would speak to about it!

“Ok, maybe you didn’t say those exact words - but you didn’t have to! Just look at your face – it’s obvious!” Robert supposed Victoria had a good point. She was right. He was a little, A LITTLE, lonely. Sometimes Robert really did feel lonely. He felt so alone in this world; like nobody needed him.  There were times when he had decided his problems could be solved with the help of a bottle of expensive liquor; it always helped him to forget. But that was in the past, he didn’t need the alcohol anymore. Here is his family who loves him, his loving stepmother, amazing sister and supportive brother. What more could a man need?

“It also might be a good idea if you replace Vic as best man!” Diane added thoughtfully. “It’s important that she rests, meaning she won’t be able to help Andy properly, but you, on the other hand, would be really helpful. Wouldn’t it be amazing to stand by your brother’s side on one of the most important days of his life?”

Diane sounded really excited. His sibling’s faces lit up with bright smiles. It looked like they liked the idea too. Robert couldn’t deny that he found the offer quite tempting. Of course it would be an honour for him to be by Andy’s side on such an important day. But after everything they’d been through, was it really such a great idea? He didn’t think so.  He remembered how catastrophic the weddings had been that he’d attended. Inscriptions on rings, Katie’s death and Cain’s fist on his face... not the best of memories. Some of them still haunted him at night. Robert feared this wedding wouldn’t be an exception. He couldn’t ruin the happiest day of Andy’s life!

“Ok, ok! I’ll deal with it all today and give you an answer later!” said Robert, giving in. He already had an answer “no” - but he had to make his efforts believable! They need to believe that nothing could change Dieter’s mind: Robert had to go back.

“I’ll tell you what I want to know? Where is my beautiful little niece? Am I going to get a chance to see her any time soon, or what?”

Robert praised himself for his smart move. He could see Victoria’s mind immediately switching off the wedding and onto Lily, leaving the matter temporarily forgotten. Lily was spending the day with Adam, so Robert was informed. Victoria was unsure of whether she would be coming to visit the hospital today, but promised Robert would get to see her soon! Robert knew Victoria was just as excited for Robert to meet Lily as he was, so he was sure she’d keep to her promise. He couldn’t want to meet the little angle again!

* * *

Aaron wanted to run away. He wanted to run away from Emmerdale, as far as possible, and hide in some small dark cave until it was all over. Until the “Robert’s return” period came to an end. But he couldn’t. He had a family, work and responsibilities and he couldn’t just disappear. Several years ago maybe he could have done it, but not now - he couldn’t leave. Aaron was only too thankful that he had somewhere to temporarily hide from this madness – only temporarily, mind – the Scrap Yard. His workplace.

Aaron sat silently in the portacabin. He was alone. No one was here to try and speak to him, and no one was here to give him strange looks. He secretly wished that this moment would last forever – but of course it wouldn’t. But for now, Aaron was only too happy to have these rare five minutes to stop and to think.

There was only one thing on Aaron’s mind: Robert. He couldn’t understand how after all these years he still cared, why he still cared that he came back, why he still cared if he’d ever see him again. But he did care. Most of all he cared that it may spark something between them again. And he was scared of it. He remembered the effect that Robert had on him in the past and he wasn’t going to lie to himself that history may well repeat itself. But all he knew is that he didn’t want it to. Aaron was with Mark now. He had a happy relationship with him and he wanted it to stay that way. With Mark he felt safe, and that was exactly what he needed.

Robert only brought troubles, problems, tears, pain - and he didn’t need these things in his life. The only thing that Aaron could do was to avoid Robert, and he was going to do anything and everything to make this possible. It was the best thing for both of them.

 “Hi, bro! I’m back!” said Liv rushing into the room, seating herself in the chair opposite Aaron. She had a mischievous smile on her face.

“Ok, tell me what’s on your mind!”  Aaron wasn’t going to waste time with stupid formalities. He knew Liv had come to tell him something and wanted to know what it was. Though part of him already knew…

“What are you talking about? Might I just not want to see my FAVOURITE brother at his place of work?” Liv’s words were perfectly believable, and she managed to feign her excitement extremely well. But Aaron knew that his sister wasn’t telling him the truth. He wasn’t going to buy it.

 “Don’t play with me, Liv!” He said in a warning tone. He had no time for her silliness.

“Ok, ok, you’ve won!” Liv raising her hands as a sign of defeat. “I have simply came to ask whether you’ve heard the news? About your crazy ex, that is?”

“Oh, not this, please!” Aaron moaned.  But he knew this was coming.

“So you’ve heard.” Liv made a conclusion.

“Yeah, Ross told me this morning that he’d seen him. And Marc met him yesterday at Vic’s, but I...”

“Marc met him?” said Live rudely interrupting her brother. Maybe Aaron had said too much.  “Interesting!”

“No, it’s not!” Aaron could feel the anger rising in him. “And, how the hell did you know about it? Has Ross texted everyone in the village about Robert’s return?”

“Oh, take it easy or I’ll start thinking that you care!” Liv played with him. Liv knew him too. “Gabby told me. She saw him this morning. He came to Andy.”

So it was true. Robert was back. Aaron hoped that it was all just a mistake. Ross was drunk and he could have easily confused Robert for some other blonde bloke. And Mark... well, he didn’t even know Robert, and anyone could have been visiting Vic. She has a tonne of friends. But now Aaron couldn’t deny it any longer. Robert was in town and there was noting that he could do to change it.

“So, how are you?” In an instant Liv became serious. Her eyes focused on Aaron.  She had been meaning to ask this all along, and was perhaps the reason why she sought out her brother. She wanted to know how Aaron was coping after the arrival of his fucked up ex-lover.

 “Fine, I guess.” Aaron said, shrugging his shoulders. “No reason why it should affect me.” It was a lie and Liv knew it. She could see right through him.

“You know that lying won’t help, right?” She raised her eyebrows, clearly expecting an answer but one never came. What could Aaron say? He didn’t even understand his own feelings so he wasn’t going to overload Liv with his problems. She didn’t need it.

“Ok, do what you want. I don’t care!”

Liv jumped on her feet angrily. Aaron could understand her actions. He knew she only wanted to help, but Aaron was stubborn and Liv’s outburst wasn’t going to change anything. It was stupid of her to expect some reaction from him. She’d been living with him for more than five years now, so she knew what Aaron was like.

“Look,” Liv said with concern in her voice. “Just don’t let this to ruin your life, ok? Don’t let him ruin it.”

“It won’t!” She didn’t believe him. It was written in her eyes. “Seriously, Liv, he’s in the past. Marc is my future now, don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’m happy about it, but considering the situation it’s the best option, I suppose,” She said, admitting the obvious. Her attitude to Marc was somewhat similar to Charity’s. She didn’t like him. He was too boring, too dull, and a bit neither here nor there, in her opinion. But if she had to choose between Marc and Robert, she’d choose Marc. She hated Robert right from the off, Aaron still didn’t really understand her reasoning, but he knew nothing would change it.

“Ok, enough of that pillock. Tell me how’s Vic doing?”

“She’s fine. The doctors say that she’ll be out of the hospital any day. Adam is going to see her later and I’m planning on tagging along. Do you want to join?” Aaron was happy for the change of subject, however their new conversation wasn’t too far removed from the topic of Robert. Even mentioning Victoria reminded Aaron of Robert. Robert had come back to Emmerdale to visit Victoria, and, as Aaron suspected, that meant he would be visiting her frequently. Visiting Victoria meant Aaron ran the risk of bumping into him. Part of him wanted to take this risk, and another knew that it would be a mistake. He’d just have to check Victoria was alone before he visited her. It was the only way.

“Nah, I’m meeting with Gabby.” Liv declined the invite as she exited by the door.

“Haven’t you spent the whole night with her? You two sick to hell of seeing each other!”

“You see your best mate almost every minute of the day, sitting right there. Why can’t I do the same with mine?”

“You’re hiding something,  Liv, I know it!”

“See you later, brother!” She smiled at him mysteriously and left the portacabin. If it was any other day he would have followed her and demand an answer, but not today. Today, the only thing he needed was some peace.

* * *

 Robert had just arrived back at the hotel when he noticed his phone was missing. The man had come into the hotel room, put his hand in the pocket of the jacket, only to see that it was empty. He wanted to call Dieter, ask how the meeting had gone, and perhaps discuss some other business objectives. Then he planned to tell Vic that Dieter had refused to give him a break, with his call log acting as proof. Robert’s phone was important. He had a lot of business contacts on that thing which he couldn’t afford to lose!

He came down to the garage and looked in the car. He swore he’d looked everywhere but his phone nowhere was found. He went to the reception and called Andy, thankful he’d learnt his number off by heart, and asked him if he’d left his phone at his house but it wasn’t there either. As a last ditch attempt he decided he’d find a way to speak to Victoria and ask her if she’d seen it. He knew that if he’d somehow managed to drop it on the street, that’d be the end of his business. He could say goodbye to all his clientele, anyway. Like he’d ever hear from THEM again! And as there was no way to contact Victoria by the phone, he hadn’t quite memorised her mobile number, he had no other choice but to traipse back to the hospital.

It was evening when Robert appeared outside Vic’s hospital room again. He could hear voices and laughter from inside it. Diane had left with them previously, so it was probably Adam he was hearing.  Robert wasn’t really happy about this. He really didn’t fancy seeing Adam again; he wanted to avoid his stares, which the man gave him like Robert’s the worst human being on the planet. But he had no other choice; he needed this phone, so he entered the room.

He was right, Adam was sitting on the bed with Victoria and they were laughing together. In front of them there stood a little girl in nice blue dress. She was doing some dance choreography, what looked absolutely hilarious and adorable. As Robert appeared in the room, Victoria and Adam instantly turned their attention to him and Lucy followed their gaze.

“Uncle Robert!” she screamed happily and rushed into his arms.

Robert raised her in the air and then hugged her tightly. It was such an amazing feeling to hold her in his arms again. To caress her silky hair. To hear her laugh.

“So how are you, my beautiful little princess?” He asked looking at her little beautiful face. She looked at  him with her big green eyes and smile spread across her face, Robert could feel his heart melting.

“Good!” She exclaimed. “I’m going to be a princess!”

“She’s got the main part in the matinee of her pre-school play. Miss Jenkins called Adam this morning to share the news.” Vic explained.  She was obviously happy for her daughter.

“Oh, really? That’s brilliant! Hope your mum will record it for me!”

“Oh, there will be no need! You can come and see it with your own eyes!” Vic said. Robert looked at her confused.

“Look, I haven’t called Dieter yet. Actually it’s the reason why I’m here. I seem to have forgotten...”

“Your phone?” said Victoria, interrupting her brother throwing her hands in the air and clutching the mobile phone.

“Yeah, I found it.” She said, smiling suspiciously. And her tone... Robert knew this tone too well. She was up to something.

“Vic, what have you done?” He asked tensely. He could feel himself becoming faint.

Nothing serious.” She answered innocently.  “Just called Dieter.”

“What?!” Robert exclaimed shocked. He put Lucy on the floor, in an attempt not to scare her. “Why did you do that? I said that I’ll call him myself!”

“Oh, I know you Robert. You’d only lie to me, and don’t you even dare to argue with that. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. And do you know what? It turned out that you’re not so busy after all! He was even planning to give you a holiday himself because you were working non-stop after...” Vic paused, feeling like she was saying more than was needed. Robert didn’t really see the point of her pussy-footing around what went on. To be honest it was probably because she didn’t want Lucy to hear bad things about her uncle.

“…After the incident.” she continued. “and so he said you can take as much time off as you please. This means that I will take it upon myself to tell you when you can leave. So now you’re 100 percent free to attend Lucy’s play and Andy’s wedding! You’re staying, Robert, and don’t even try to worm your way out of it!” There was a triumphant look on Victoria’s face. She was clearly pleased with her actions.

Robert didn’t know what to say. She’d done it. She’d managed to wind him round her little finger. It was no accident he’d left his phone at the hospital, she’d stolen the device so she could coerce Robert into abiding by her rules. But he had to admit she’d done a great job. She was a true Sugden.

Robert didn’t know how he was supposed to get himself out of this one. Just as he thought things couldn’t get any worse, he heard Lucy say something that turned his stomach.

“Uncle Aaron, did you hear that? Uncle Robert’s staying!”

For a moment Robert thought that he’d gone mad. That he’d started to imagine things. That he’d lost his mind. He couldn’t comprehend was Lucy had just said. Robert traced her gaze, turning his head, and he finally understood.

Aaron had been sat in the room the whole time, silently watching the scene. Their eyes met and Robert could his world begin to come crashing down…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was away and couldn't write for a while but now i'm back and ready to continue my work! Hope that someone is still interested in this story! Enjoy reading!)  
> Proofreading: Amelia ('amelia fanfics')


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert meet up for the first time after five years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an example of situation when you have one idea on your mind, but then begin to write something absolutely different... don't know how it happened, but still hope you'll like it!)

Silence. The unbearable silence hung in the air. Aaron hoped that he would stay unnoticed to the very end. He didn’t want this scene to end like this: Robert staring at him. And the most awful part was that he couldn't take his eyes off him too.

As soon as tall silhouette with blonde hair and in the suit appeared in front of him he recognised Robert. It was surprise for Aaron how happy was Lucy to see her uncle and how fast she jumped on him with a massive smile on her face. Robert was always the one who tried his best to avoid all children living around, but it seems that Lucy was an exception. And the way he hugged her little body reminded Aaron how these arms used to hug him once. For a brief moment he plunged into the past and remembered all those small happy moments. But just for a moment, he couldn’t let himself more. It could easily mess with his mind and he couldn’t risk it.

Actually Aaron didn’t even hear what the Sugden siblings were talking about all this time. He knew, could feel even that Aaron was worried about his best mate but at that moment Robert was everything Aaron could see. By his posture it was obvious that the blonde man was unhappy, angry even. It was something between him and Vic, but Aaron didn’t pay any attention to their problem until couple of words slipped off Lucy’s tongue. And suddenly his eyes met Robert’s.

They were staring at each other for a quite long time both being unable to say anything. They were exploring each other. Aaron tried to find something that would show him that Robert’s changed, that he’s not the man he was before, that he’s became older and less attractive, that there is nothing that could attract him to his ex-lover anymore. But he failed. As always Robert looked gorgeous. He still had the haircut which he had at his last day in the village, the hair are not too short, not too long, a little bit shaggy, like Aaron likes it. His freckles all over the face. Aaron had a silly habit to count them running his fingers over them while they were lying in the bed. Lips... he could swear that he still remembers their taste. The way they were touching him and he was losing himself in the hurricane of emotions and the desire. The way they whispered him how much Robert loves him. That he’s his everything and that he would never let him go.  And finally his eyes. The eyes which betrayed him. They were the only thing that showed that it's passed more than a few days since their last meeting. Aaron remembers how he saw love and warm in them before, but now he sees only cold and emptiness. And somehow it's scared him off, so he was the first who broke their eye-contact. He lost their silent battle.

“Adam and Aaron came right after you left,” Victoria broke the silence. Obviously the atmosphere’s changed, even Lucy noticed it since she's suddenly fell silent “I wanted to phone you and say that Lucy is here too, but...”

“You’ve stolen my phone. Yeah, I remember.” Robert interrupted his sister. His voice was a mixture of anger and some kind of confusion. Clearly he didn’t expect to see Aaron here. He was taken by surprise and he didn’t know what to do. So he acts like he always does in such situations: he snaps at everyone around him. 

“I didn't steal anything! You left it so...”

“Vic, just shut up... please!” This time his words sounded like a plea and Aaron was shocked. He was shocked when he looked at him again and saw the tears. And pain. Pain was written all over Robert's face and Aaron couldn't see the reason. He couldn't understand what has changed in the instant, but something had changed and Aaron's missed it.

And then all of a sudden Robert looked away to his sister.

“Just give me my phone, Vic.” He reached out but the woman hesitated. “Come on, sis, you’re not going to leave it to yourself forever, aren’t you? You’ve already made everything you could, so give it to me.” 

“Ok, but promise me not to shout at Dieter too much. He’s good guy and he thinks the same of you! How can he possibly imagine that you want to fool your little sister?” Aaron could see what Vic is doing: she acts like nothing out of ordinary has happened. And judging by the smirk on Robert’s face it was working. But now Aaron was more interested in who was this Dieter. He really needed to hear their conversation before, not stare at Robert like some pathetic teenager.

“Oh, you so don't know him.” Robert said and pulled the phone out of her hand. Vic looked at him unimpressed. “Don't worry, I'll tell nothing to him. He can't even imagine what he's gotten himself into. All my meetings are his now and he'll so regret of his decision soon.” Robert looked really satisfied with himself.

“So that means you're really staying?” Vic asked surprised.

“What other choice do I have? And probably I won’t ever forgive myself if I won't see Lucy as a princess!” Robert looked at the girl.

Aaron couldn’t not to notice that Robert deliberately avoided him. It was like he made a decision to ignore Aaron and that made him feel uncomfortable. And sad. They haven't seen each for five years and that’s what he’s gotten... well, at the end it was Robert who left him, so not such a surprise. But still it hurt. 

Robert kissed Vic in forehead and she smiled him warmly.

“And as for you, young lady,” Robert addressed to Lucy, and the girl listened him like he’s the most important person on the earth. “Hope I’ll get my invitation on tea party soon. Sure Betty missed me!”  
Betty was Lucy’s favourite doll. Aaron knew it because she always made him to play with her and to hear about her from Robert was strange. Super strange.

“She’s always talking about you! We’ll wait you but don’t forget you mug this time!”  
Lucy sounded so serious that everybody in the room laughed because at the same time she was charming. Even Aaron couldn’t hide his smile thought he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I won’t, promise.”

Robert kissed her too and made his way to the exit. Aaron thought that it was the end, but Robert surprised him once again. He stopped by the door and looked straight at him.

“It was nice to see you again,” He pronounced looking into his eyes and then added quietly. “Aaron.”

He left, giving Aaron no chance to answer.

* * *

The Woolpack was half empty but still Aaron found the furthest corner of the pub to sit in, hoping nobody will notice him here. He wanted to go upstairs but couldn’t because Charity and Ross were there and their funny glances were the last thing he needed. And also he can’t leave the building, because Marc can come at every minute and Aaron wants to be here to meet him. He really needed to see his boyfriend now after everything that has happened. He really needed to stop thinking about Robert.

When Robert left Vic admitted that he maybe didn’t really forget his phone after all and that’s became the reason why she and Adam began to argue. Aaron had to clear his throat to remind the couple that he was still here and it looked like they really forgot of his presence. And Vic looked at him with her big sad eyes as if she’s only now understood what’s really happened here.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron,” She mumbled playing with her blanket, “I wanted to tell you about his arrival but had no time.”

“It’s nothing. I’ve already knew about it.” Even Aaron couldn’t not to notice how grumpy he sounded. And probably his friends took notice of it too but didn’t show it.

“Anyway don’t know why you’re apologising. He’s your brother, so I’d surprised if he didn’t show up. It’s quite normal that he’s here with you.” 

“Yeah, but...”

“Don’t Vic,” Aaron warned her before she told something really stupid. “He and me, we’re in the past now. Sooner or later we would have met anyway, you're my friend and his sister. So don’t make a big deal of it, ok?”

Vic nodded and they closed the subject. And nobody needed to know that Aaron wasn’t really so sure in his own words.

“Alright, love?” Chas put new pint on the table in front of her son.

“Yeah, yeah. Just lost in the thoughts.” Aaron answered absently. He smiled at her showing that everything is fine, but she didn't buy it seeing right through him.

“Ok,” The woman sat beside him, “Tell me.”

“Tell you what? ”

“Why are you hiding here? Not answering you phone while Marc trying to reach to you to tell that he’s working late and looking like you’ve just came from the funeral? I won’t leave, till I hear the truth.” 

Aaron turned his attention to the phone. Six missed calls from Marc.

“Shit!” Aaron cursed. “How didn’t I hear them?!”

“Because you were busy thinking of...?” Chas began her sentence hinting on her intention to know the truth. Aaron knew one thing: there is no way he could cheat his mum, so he had no other choice but tell her everything.

“Robert.” Her face fell. Yeah, that was exact the reaction he was expected from her. “Met him today and it’s messed with my head a little. Not a big deal.” Aaron really tried to sound casual, but it didn’t work. Even slightest mention of the man sent a shiver down through his body. Robert still has this power on him.

“Well, we both knew that it would happen.” Chas also tried to act normal. Just two old lovers met after five years since their breakup. What’s here to worry about, right? “And? What did he tell?” 

“Nothing really.” Aaron shrugged his shoulders turning in his head their quite cold interaction. If this even can call an “interaction”. “Said that it was nice to see me again. That’s all. Acted like I wasn’t even in the room actually.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right? ” Chas really wanted to find some pluses in the situation. She saw what Robert has done with her son and she doesn’t want it to repeat. But Aaron already changed, she could see it in his behaviour and it's been only a day since Robert’s arrival. “I mean it’s best for both of you to ignore each other. And he will leave soon anyway, so what is the point to beat a dead horse, yeah? ”  At some point Aaron thought she was trying to persuade in it herself, but not him.

“The thing is…” Aaron made a sip of a beer. He already could feel her reaction on his words. She will be furious. “He’s staying for two weeks.”

“What?!” Chas exclaimed probably too loud as the whole pub looked at their table. The woman understood her mistake and smiled to the customers showing that there is nothing to worry about and they can return to their business. 

“Yeah, he's staying for the wedding.” Aaron said this like it was the worst thing that could have happened, and to be fair it was true. He could cope with couple of days, but to be with Robert in one village and probably meet with him him regularly for two weeks was too dangerous. It will be stupid to deny.

“Well, he didn’t want to, but Vic had her own idea about it. She phoned his boss or someone like that, and earned him holidays so he could stay here. He wasn’t really happy, but agreed at the end.”

“Don’t really know what to say.” Chas admitted honestly. She really wanted to believe in her son, that everything will be alright as he’d said her this morning, but the reality was that she just couldn’t. They've already been there thousands of times and it never ended well.

“There is nothing to say here.” Aaron snapped being annoyed by her tone miserable as if the whole world's been crushed down. “Two weeks and he'll leave as he left five years ago and everything will be fine again!”

“But what about Marc?” Chas pointed out on Aaron's phone which has begun to ring again. “Are you going to tell him the truth about Robert?” 

“No! And you won't tell him too!”

“So you just going to sit and wait till Robert bumps into him and blurts everything? ” Chas raised her eyebrow. If she knew something about Robert Sugden is that he never could hold his tongue especially when it concerned Aaron and people who Robert just didn't like. And there was no doubt that Marc will head the list as soon as he’ll know him. She could only imagine what nasty things he could tell him... and it doesn’t matter if that was Robert who left, she knew that he had this crazy obsession with her son and she was pretty sure that it didn’t vanish. And she was scare of it.

“Well, I’ll ask Vic to speak with him about it. I’m sure she doesn’t want problems too.” Aaron said not truly believing in it. There was something strange in her actions today, he couldn’t understand what but something just didn’t fit in. But now he was too tired to think about it.

“If she didn’t want any problems she wouldn’t have asked him to stay!” Chas growled. 

“He’s her brother!”

“Who left the village and didn’t even say her where he is! Hardly brother of the year! Girl’s nearly lost her mind of worry! And...”

“Mum, stop it!” Aaron cried out. He was fed up with this topic. It was already enough for him to be unable to stop thinking about Robert so he definitely wouldn’t cope if everyone around won’t stop mention him again and again. It was like a nightmare. He could bet that he’s heard this name thousand times today and it makes him crazy, Robert makes him crazy. “Look, why don’t you go and serve some customers, ah? And I’ll go outside and speak with my boyfriend whose name is Marc, but not Robert Flipping Sugden!”

Aaron angrily stood up and rushed to the door leading outside. No, he absolutely wasn’t going to speak with Mark, not now. He just wanted to buy a beer and get drunk. He doesn’t know what will bring tomorrow, but one thing he knows for sure: he needs to forget about all this at least for a night.

* * *

“Robert, you need to understand me, your sister can be true evil when she wants to! She treated to come to Germany and kick my ass if I won’t let you stay. And do you know the scariest part? I believed her! So, sorry, mate, but I couldn’t say “no”!”

Robert was talking with Dieter for a while now and it’s turned out that Vic’s used her own methods to reach her goal. Dieter was aware that Robert probably won’t want to stay for a long time and tried to persuade Vic that he won’t cope without him but she was too insistent. So it wasn’t the story which Vic’s told her brother. Sometime it scares him how similar they can be.

“Now I see why she didn’t want me to call you.” Robert laughed, making a sip of his strong black coffee. “Anyway if you have some paperwork to do then sent it to me. Don’t really know what I'm going to do here for two weeks. I’m already bored and I’ don’t even live in this village.”

“Are we speaking about the village where helicopter crash happened and the next month you was shot?” Dieter giggled. Yeah, he knew a little bit more about Robert than others. Sometimes Robert wishes he didn’t tell him so much. “Well, actually I’m quite sure that you will have no time for work. Vic told me about you being a new best man on the wedding and her plans, so I just can wish you good luck. You’ll need it!” He so obviously laughed at him. 

“I’m in the centre of my worst nightmare,” Robert mumbled.

“Oh, don’t worry, mate. You’ll be alright.” Dieter tried to reassure him. “Well, I’m off. Claudia is waiting for me. If I’ll be late, she’ll start think that I’m cheating on her with you. Let’s don’t give her a reason to hate you even more.”

“Ok. But, please, won’t fuck up the deal tomorrow. I’ve been working on her as crazy. And don’t forget to look after Jack. If I’ll come and he’ll be dead then…”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll kill me. Love you too, buddy. Bye!”

Dieter hung up the phone, leaving Robert no opportunity to answer him back.

Dieter was the only person who Robert can call his friend, not really close but still friend. He joined to him as simple worker two years ago and now he’s the only one who knows at least something about Robert. Yeah, he told him about his failed marriage, about the helicopter crash and shooting, he acquainted him with his family, actually they’ve became quite good friends with Andy so probably he will come on the wedding too. But there is a theme which is forbidden. It’s the reason of Robert and Chrissie’s breakup and the reason why Robert's left his home. It’s Aaron. Dieter probably knows that somehow there is another person who’s involved, he tried to ask Robert about it but the man made it clear that this subject they are never going to discuss. Dieter never mentioned it again.

As for Dieter’s life, he has a divorce behind his back too. His father was from Germany and mother from England. They lived in London all his childhood, that’s why he knows English so well. When his mother died of cancer he and his father have moved in Germany. Dieter married at twenty years old and divorced in two years. With father’s help he began his estate business and worked for more than ten years in this sphere when he met Robert. Dieter was doing some paperwork at the cafe where his new girlfriend was manager when Robert came by and accidently pushed one of his folder and it fall on the floor. Picking it up Robert couldn’t not to look at the documents in his hand and instantly he’s found several mistakes. He showed them to Dieter and then one thing led to another. Robert’s got the job and now he’s quite close to call himself Dieter’s right hand, especially after the man's father passed away. Dieter has another girlfriend now, Claudia, who hates Robert's guts. She thinks that her boyfriend spends too much time with Robert, and Robert thinks it's stupid and doesn't even true. Nobody knows about his bisexuality there, he didn’t have any girlfriends and boyfriends, never showed up with anyone. He didn’t want to give people an opportunity to gossip about him and he wasn’t really interested in someone else since Aaron. He tried couple of times to go on the dates, but it didn’t work so one day he just stopped trying. And he was quite satisfied with his life without all this.

He didn’t even have time to sit after the conversation when his phone made a short noise. It was the message from Andy.

“Vic returns home tomorrow. In the pub will be a party in honour of this. We're waiting for you there.”

Robert knew what Andy was doing by sending him a message. He gave him no chance to argue with him. Robert was pretty sure that if he calls now his brother won’t pick up the phone. But the truth was he wasn’t going to do that. He flew here to see Vic and of course he won’t miss the party in her honour. He knows why Andy thinks that he won’t want to come. Aaron. Robert wasn’t stupid to understand that the young man probably will be there. He was Vic’s friend after all. And actually part of Robert wanted him to be there.

Their accidental meeting today for a moment made Robert forget how to breath and mixed all his thoughts. The flow of different emotions rushed through him. At first it was shock. He knew that sooner or later he'll see him again, but he didn’t expect it to happen so soon. First several minutes he was just staring. He knew that it wasn’t right but he couldn’t help himself. Five years has passed and Aaron was still as handsome as always. He hasn't changed a lot. Still too much hair-gel, a little beard, black hoodie, muscular body, he’s obviously worked out a lot, his hands looked so strong that Robert remembered how good they made him feel once. But he couldn’t let himself go too far in his thoughts. In the thoughts which now were memories. He couldn’t let himself dream again.

And at the end he’s made his biggest mistake. He looked him in the eyes. In his beautiful blue eyes. And he remembered all those times how these eyes looked at him full of life, love and happiness. How Aaron didn’t need to say anything because Robert could see everything that he needed to know in them. But also he couldn’t not remember the way these eyes looked at him last time. Full of pure hatred and despair. All love which Aaron had for Robert disappeared and it’s come time for Robert to disappear too. And remembering those time brought tears to Robert’s eyes, and he knew that Aaron did notice them. And it was not acceptable. He won't show Aaron that he's still hurt. Won't show him his real feelings. And that's why he's put on one of his masks. He totally ignored Aaron and he survived it with the help of Vic. His sister did everything she could to make the situation easier for him, she acted normal. And he was grateful. But at the end he gave up and said those couple of words to him, it was a moment of weakness. And then he left, not being sure that he's ready to hear some kind of response. To hear Aaron's voice.

All the way to the hotel he was going over the scene in the hospital in his head. Actually he was kind of proud of himself. He wasn’t sure that he will be ready to face Aaron, he was sure that he will lose control and rush to the alcohol or to something worse, but it didn’t happen. He still feels that pain and sadness, feels how his heart breaks all over again, but nothing extreme has happened. And that’s when he understood that maybe all this time Andy and Vic were right, that he just needs to face his biggest fear to move on. To meet Aaron and to see that he’s already moved on was his biggest fear, because Robert himself couldn’t do it. He still clung to the past. But now he finally could see his salvation. He needs to stay here, needs to see that he isn’t needed here anymore, that Aaron doesn’t need him, accept it and begin a new life. That’s why he decided to stay at the wedding and there is no way for him to miss this party tomorrow.  
  
.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who's reading this story, leaving kudos or comments! It means a lot to me! Hope, you're not disappointed with this chapter)
> 
> P.S. Sorry for mistakes and stuff like that)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert goes to the party at "The Woolpack", where he meets some old and new faces.

“The Whoolpack” was full. Robert could see it from the spot where he stopped his car. Not far away from the building but far away enough not to be noticed. He drove here for the party. Earlier he phoned Andy to say that he’ll come, and though they were talking by the phone Robert felt how his brother smiled. On the way here he stopped by the flower shop and bought a bouquet for Vic. But the moment he arrived to the place and turned off the engine he froze.

It was strange to be here again. In the village. Today he came here by his own will and it seemed weird. All this time he has been avoiding this place like the plague. He tried to erase every memory of it, except his family, and was sure that there are no chances for him to come back here. But look at him now!

Having entered the town his first thought was that almost nothing’s really changed. He took his time exploring every corner. He was interested to see which houses are still here and which are not, which shops villagers visit now, which farms are in work, how looks “B&B” now after Eric’s death with Diane being in the control over it. Part of him wanted to go and see Home Farm, which probably has new tenants now, and the scrapyard, where Aaron and Adam still are working. But these were the places with so many memories that he gave up the idea. But the problem was that the place of the party, “The Whoolpack”, was also a one big reminder of his past life and he wasn't sure that he could make it.

Nearly half an hour he was sitting in his car watching people constantly entering and leaving the pub. Robert’s noticed some old faces. Carly and April, who wasn’t such little girl anymore. They were laughing at something looking absolutely happy. Vic mentioned that Carly married Marlon couple of years ago. Robert didn’t really see them as a couple, but it wasn’t his business. He also noticed the Barton boys. Some time they were standing near the building, arguing about something. The elder one, Pete, shouted something to Ross and pushed him angrily. Finn tried to calm him down but it didn’t work because he was the same skinny little boy. But Robert was surprised when Ross didn’t attack his brother back, but went to the bar. Finn followed him, but not Pete who rushed down the street. These brothers were always a little bit troubled. Actually they were the reason Robert’s nearly died once.

As time went on, Robert saw more and more familiar faces on the street: Liza and Sam Dingle, Holly, Dan with Kerry, David and his step-son Jake, Nicola. They didn't change a lot but at the same time every one of them looked a little bit differently. Robert doesn’t know about their lives a lot now. He didn’t really was interested in them when he lived here so what was the point to talk about now? He has no idea what is like life in Emmerdale now. And unknown to him people who appeared in front of him proved the point. He counted at least ten strangers who entered the pub. He saw that some of them were chatting with some of old villagers. The man could remember how easily you memorize every name and face while living here, so it wasn’t surprise that everybody knew each other. But the fact was that now Robert didn’t know them, that’s why he didn’t feel like at home anymore.

These thoughts cast a gloom over him so he even thought to drive away back to the hotel but refused the idea at the end. He knew that it needs to be done, he promised it to his family. He promised it to himself. Slowly he got out of the car holding the bouquet and head to the pub. Robert didn’t hurry up, didn’t want to rush the moment. He could predict what reaction he’ll get inside especially if Chas’s there. And surely she will be there because she still owns the half of the place.

Having approached the front door he hesitated. He could hear loud talking and laugh inside. And it scared him. He had to make a deep breath before entering in. 

One step. Another step. The door is open and he’s inside. As he figured out before the pub was nearly full and luckily for the man no one even noticed his appearance. And now looking around he wasn’t surprised by the fact judging how little familiar face were here. Even Ross and Finn, who came in here earlier, disappeared somewhere. And that was a relief. The less attention to his person, the better.

Robert saw the balloons and posters on the walls room. Clearly they were a sign of Vic’s celebration. And also he noticed the familiar figure near one of the tables. Chas. Woman was standing back to him, taking an order, so there was no chance for her to see newcomer... for now. Robert’s first intention was to hide. He could imagine how woman will react on him. He was pretty sure that she’s come back to hating him again. Probably she even enjoyed it. So he wanted to sit so far away from her as possible, but it was probably his unlucky day because all tables were busy and vacant stools were only near the bar. And he knew that to leave the place wasn’t also an option so he had no other choice but put off his jacket and sit there, putting flowers on the bar in front of him.

He knew that this idea will end up badly as soon as Andy’s said him that he would be late because of some problems on his farm and Diane will come together with Adam and Vic and obviously they were late too. He hated them for the situation they’ve put him into.

He was sitting silently, trying to keep his head down. He knew that sooner or later he’ll be noticed, but he just wanted a little bit more time. And he’s gotten his time, as all Chas attention was suddenly drawn to the man who appeared out of the back door. He came to the woman and kissed her, after which she giggled like a little girl. Robert thought that he’s already seen this face somewhere but couldn’t remember. Maybe this guy has lived here before. Too much has happened during these last years in Robert's life to keep in memory everything and everyone. Anyway he was happy with the woman being all over the man. The chances that she’ll notice him soon decreased.

“Can I?” Robert heard the voice near him. He turned to see the young man who was pointing out the stool next to his.

“Yeah. Why not?” Only after having given the answer Robert understood what a mistake he’s made. The man obviously didn’t ask to sit here but join him. Robert was too occupied with thoughts of Chas to understand it at once. And he was right because as soon as the stranger sat beside him he decided to introduce himself.

“I’m Andrew.” Strangely but he sounded like he was proud of it. Proud of his name. “Andrew Scrab.” Again he said like it was something really meaningful.

“Suppose your name has to tell me something but it doesn’t.” Robert didn’t even bother to introduce himself. He wasn’t really interested in knowing his name for that matter. He continued watching Chas out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, sure of it. I’ve never seen you here before.” The man noticed. Robert could feel how his eyes were travelling all over him. “Moved in recently or just were driving by and decided to stop?”

“Something like that, yeah.” This unwanted companion’s already began to irritate him. Robert had no desire to meet new people, he just wanted to spent some time with his family and then leave.

“Ok, can I at least get a name?”

Robert's nearly lost his temper now. It was quite obvious that he wasn't interested in this conversation. That he just wanted to sit here alone and not attract too much attention. But the Andrew was ruining everything. He was too loud and noisy, and knowing Chas she'll notice it soon and will decide to see what's happening and then she'll see Robert. He wasn't ready to it now. So he decided to shut the man up, but turned out that he wasn't his biggest problem, as a familiar women's voice shouted:

“Oh. My. God!” Charity came out of the back room. She was smiling widely and her eyes were full of pure excitement. Robert was in real trouble right now. If no one saw him before then by now everyone around knew of his presence. Chas including.

“So this is true! You’ve really came back! Didn’t believe it till this moment!”

“Yeah, yeah, Charity, glad to see you too,” Robert wanted nothing more than to hide under the table. He hated how everybody was watching him now. And he hated to hear the sound of heels approaching to him. Hurricane is coming.

  
“Robert!” Chas pronounced coldly joining Charity behind the bar. Her eyes were as cold as ice and Robert could feel shiver running down his body. 

“Chas!” He nodded in response looking straight back at her. He did his best to play it cool.

The silence hung up in the air and everybody could feel the tension. Yeah, this meeting wasn’t one of the pleasant one. Robert’s relationship with Chas was always complicated, she didn’t like him for ruining her son’s life, and he didn’t like her for not wanting to give him another proper chance with Aaron. Even when he and Aaron got back together Robert still felt her disapproval, despite everything that she’s been saying to Aaron. It was always written in her eyes. She never thought that Robert deserves her boy. And probably she let off fireworks when he finally left. 

“So... pint? ” Charity interfered having felt like it was the time to change the mood. She was scared of these two to begin explode everything around here with their creepy tense gazes.

“Just water for me.” Robert answered still looking at Chas. He couldn’t let her win.

“What? Don’t want to celebrate your return? ” Chas raised an eyebrow. “ I even can drink with you. Have one prefect toast actually: for you leaving us and never coming back again. What do you think?”

“Nice one.” Robert smirked. “But what about: for you stopping to interfere in other people’s business?”

“Wow! I see you have some interesting history here!” Andrew exclaimed, reminding Robert and others of his presence. “And I thought that she hates me! No, mate, now I’m pretty sure she likes me!”

“Oh, believe me, you two are worth each other! You should become friends actually!” Charity noted. “Rich. Handsome. Clever. And did i mention the word “bisexual”? Finally Robert Sugden’s here to meet his twin!”

It took several minutes for Robert to understand her words. A twin? Did she really call this Mr Annoyance his twin? It must have been a joke! But it wasn’t and Robert had to pay to him all his attention to understand this. No, there were no physical similarities between them. Andrew was quite shorter than him. Black hair. Dark brown eyes. Greek nose. Small lips. No, they were two different people, but still Robert's knew what the woman was talking about. It was all in Andrew's demeanor. The way he was sitting like it wasn’t the stool under him but throne. He was lookong at everybody like he’s better than all of them. He was smiling like he has something on his mind. He was dressed in cloth which obviously wasn’t bought in one of the local shops. He was young, rich, confident and cheeky. He looked exactly like Robert when he returned here in the first time with the posh fiancé and her family beside him.

“Let me guess, you live on the Home Farm, yeah?” Robert asked and the man nodded. Charity’s already purred him a glass of whisky. Seemingly Andrew was a man of the habit.

“And you are famous Robert Sugden?”

“Famous?” 

“Oh, yeah, you’ve been discussing here since yesterday. Everybody was talking about your return. Seriously I was sick of the mention of your name by the end of the day!”

“Well, you’re not alone.” Robert heard Chas’s mumbling but decided not to pay any attention to it.

“At least you are really as handsome as i've heard!” Andrew winked to Robert making a sip.

And here was the main difference between their personalities, despite all the obvious similarities, Andrew felt comfortable being himself. He was flirting with Robert and didn’t even try to hide his motives. But Robert... he never could be like this. Not in front of people. He tried but all attempts were failed. There was only one person he could feel himself comfortable with in the company of other people and he wasn’t his anymore.

And that was like Aaron’s heard his thoughts as his voice appeared behind the women’s backs. And Robert froze up.

“Who are you trying to fool this time, ah?” Aaron stepped up looking at Andrew. The smirk was playing at his face. Somehow he hasn’t notice Robert yet. And by the look of his mother it was clear that she’d like it stay this way. But Andrew didn’t know the history here.

“Oh, I’ve just met my new friend Robert!” He pronounced and laid his hand on Robert’s shoulder, that made him to feel uncomfortable. They weren’t friends and he one hundred percent didn’t want Aaron to think this way. “Why didn’t Vic say that she has such a hot brother? I’m offended!”

In other situation Robert would probably kick Andrew’s ass. He hated the way he was speaking about him. In his past life he’d probably have adored such attention from him but not now. Now it only irritated him. Especially when Aaron was stood there on the arm length from him. But right now he couldn’t see anyone else. Aaron was in the centre of his universe at this moment. He was the only thing that was worth his attention and reaction here. And Robert knew that he can’t eveb think like that. If he’ll lose himself in his feelings to Aaron then he’ll loose himself again. And he can’t let it happen. Not after everything. 

“Still lives here then?” Robert asked him absolutely random question. Even Aaron was seemingly taken by surprise. But it was the first thing that came on his mind, and Robert needed to say something not to lose himself in the blue ocean of Aaron’s eyes.

“Temporary, yeah,” Aaron answered confused. 

“So you know each other?” Andrew stepped in again.

“I lived here, so what do you think?” Robert snapped and understood at once that it was too harsh. The man didn’t even deserve this, so Robert continued and fixed the situation. “I was the one who invested in his and Adam’s business, so we were the business partners several years ago.” 

The theme was dangerous; Robert doesn’t know how much people knew about his and Aaron's relationships so he’s chosen an easy way to deal with the situation. And by the relief on Aaron’s face he understood that he did all right. Andrew obviously didn’t know about their relationships, and suddenly Robert felt hurt. There were no actual reasons for it, maybe he and Aaron weren’t even friends to speak about about such things. But deep down Robert knew that it wasn’t the case.

“Oh, really? My father is their main investor now, but you know they never really speak about the way they started their career. How two ex thugs made their own business, no offence Aaron. Maybe you’ll tell me the history of the success?”

Andrew sounded really interested in the topic. Probably he spent a lot of time with Aaron and Adam to understand that they are not too great in business to start one without any help. Of course Robert knew the exact reason why he’s invested back then, but if Aaron even didn’t even mention his name, the truth isn’t needed here.

“I just had a lot of money and then i saw two men who needed help. Saw some potential and here’s the result. But they’re right not speaking of my interference, my help wasn’t so great. Almost everything they've done themselves.”

That was true. Sad but truth. Another proof that Aaron could manage without him perfectly well. Aaron doesn’t need him. 

“Everything’s alright?” Andrew answered, having felt the change at his tone by the end.

“Yeah, just tired of waiting.” Robert smiled weakly avoiding Aaron's gaze. Could he see what’s going on in his head? Could he feel the way he feels? Robert knew that he could, Aaron always saw right throgh him. And that meant one thing: everything he’s planned was ruined. He just can’t not to show his real emotions being near Aaron. Can't control himself. He was weak and Aaron was the only one who made him like this.

“I’ll go and call Diane to know where they are.” Robert got up. He needed fresh air.

And he didn’t just go outside, he rushed to the exit door.

It was quite cold outside. Robert absolutely forgot about his jacket. But he can't return in the building. Not now. He needs to breathe. Needs to pull himself together. He’s stronger than this, he knows it. He can handle Aaron. He just needs to believe in this. To believe in himself.

“Hi!” He's heard the voice, which he’s already heard somewhere. “Robert Sugden, right?” The question followed and Robert looked up to see who was talking with him. And, yeah, he really knew the man. 

“ Yeah. And you are Vic’s friend. Right? Finn’s boyfriend or something like that?» Robert blurted out mindlessly. He remembers the guy from the hospital and his story of forgotten jacket and his boyfriend. Nothing interesting.

“Yeah, Vic’s friend.” He answered but then winced. “Not, one hundred percent not Finn’s boyfriend. Where did you get it from?”

“Don’t know. Finn’s Vic’s best friend and you're her friend, so I thought...well actually I didn’t think at all. Don’t really care if be honest.”

Robert knew how bad this sounded. But right now he just wanted to be left in the peace. He was already fed up with Andrew, Chas and Charity, so he definitely didn’t need another weirdo to do his head in. 

“Still charming I see.” The man's made an conclusion. 

“Just leave me alone, ok?” Robert lashed out. 

The man didn’t say anything back and head to the pub, but then the door opened and he suddenly stopped. Robert didn’t see how has appeared but he knew that it was someone close to the man, because he smiled widely.

“Hi, babe, I was just about to come in.” He said. Probably it was his boyfriend, who wasn’t Finn.

And here suddenly Robert thought of who else could it be and he trembled. What are the odds, right? Five year have passed, who knows how many gays or bisexuals are living here now, right? For example, this Andrew could be his boyfriend. And he flirted with Robert just because his boyfriend wasn’t there and he was bored. This could be possible, right? It could be anyone, not necessary...

“Aaron, you alright?” The man asked and all Robert’s hopes crushed down.

He didn’t know why he hasn’t thought of this possibility before. Finn wasn’t the only one gay friend of Vic. There was always Aaron. Aaron who now has a boyfriend. Aaron who has really mooved on.

Robert could feel the tears in his eyes. And it was stupid to get upset over something like that. Actually that was the reason why he’s come here: to see that Aaron has another life now and that here there is no place for Robert anymore. But to think was the one thing, to actually see was another. He wasn’t ready to this. He doesn’t even sure that he will ever be ready. But he can’t show it to Aaron. He can only accept. He has no other choice but accept it.

“You forgot your jacket. It’s cold here, so I thought you’d need it.”

Robert didn’t notice how Aaron approached him, but now he could feel him. And that was making everything worse. If Aaron will make at least one step he’ll see. He'll see everything, every fucking Robert’s emotion, and Robert won't let it happen. He needs to run away.

“Yeah, thanks.” He answered and took the jacket which Aaron handed him. Robert tried his best to avoid his gaze. “Actually I’m not feeling very well, so I’d better come back to the hotel...”

“Robert...” Aaron almost whispered but Robert didn’t give him the opportunity to finish.

“I’ll call Vic and say that I’m sorry. I left the flowers in there, they were for her. Will you give them to her, ok?”

“Robert...”

“See you, Aaron.”

And he began to walk. Straight to the car. Not turning back. Trying not to feel Aaron’s gaze on his back. Trying not to think of him. He will sit in the car and drive to the hotel. Then he’ll go sleep. And he won’t be thinking of Aaron and his new boyfriend. He won’t be sad. And he won’t be crying. He’ll accept. And he’ll forget that there were times when his heart wasn’t broken into thousands of pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be from both Robert's and Aaron's POVs, but at the end it didn't work so now we have a whole chapter about Robert. But i hope you'll like and enjoy it anyway!)  
> Thank you everyone who reads and supports this story, i love you all!)))
> 
> P.S. In case if anyone is interested i have also a tumblr account under the same name: Yasha-Alex)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron finally met to have a conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so busy recently that i'm surprised that i've finally finished this chapter.  
> I just want to thank everyone who reads this story, leaves kudos and comments... thank you! It means a lot!)

_Robert was driving around the town. It was dark outside and he didn’t even notice how it's been already the night. He was sad. And angry. And heartbroken. He wanted to scream. To smash something. Thoughts in his head were driving him crazy. Aaron and him. And his boyfriend. Aaron and his new life. It was all that Robert could think about. Probably they had a good laugh at him after he left. Probably Aaron enjoyed it. He always loved to do it. To break Robert’s heart._

_Robert didn’t notice how he began to cry and how small drops began to hit the roof of his car. The more tears were falling down his cheeks, the more it was raining. It was like the weather felt the way Robert was feeling right now. The rain has become incredibly strong and the vision in front of him was blurred. He needed to lean forward to see at least anything, but there were no signs of the road, as if he was driving in some dark tunnel, which had no end. And it’s began to scare him._

_But then he saw it: something was shedding a light. And Robert had to blink back the tears to see what was it. And he saw two figures. They were standing holding hands and watching at him. And Robert recognised them. He wanted to turn around immediately, but the car didn’t listen to him anymore, it was driving straight forward to them. Straight to Aaron and his boyfriend. Aaron watched at him and an evil smile was playing on his face. And then he suddenly turned away, took the man's face in his hands and kissed him passionately. Robert couldn’t look away despite his attempts, so he just closed his eyes._

_It was the feeling of the wind on his skin that made him to open his eyes again. He wasn’t in the car anymore. He was standing on the cliff and he remembered the place. It was the same cliff where Andy wanted to end his life. But what he was doing here now? And what’s more important: how did he get here? He didn’t remember coming here. And in his hand was a bottle of some liquor and it was half empty. It explained why Robert felt so dizzy. But he couldn’t remember drinking it. He couldn’t drink it. He managed to handle without alcohol quite good recently he couldn’t have lost this battle now. But apparently it was happening and he couldn’t explain how._

_Suddenly a huge gust of wind pushed him forward and now he was right on the edge of the cliff. One step ahead and he’ll smash into rocks underneath. It would be the end of him. End of his misery. But he knew that it wasn’t the option. He needed to leave, find Andy and Vic and speak with them and then they’ll help. He just needs to find his car. But as soon as he turned around he figured out that he wasn’t alone._

_“Aaron?” He asked surprised looking at the man who was an owner of his heart. And it’s ruiner. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I said get out of my life!” Aaron growled slowly and then quickly he lifted his hands and pushed him back._

_And Robert was falling down looking at the mean grin on Aaron’s face who was watching his fall. Robert could hear his laugh and he couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t look at him. So again he closed his eyes._

_He woke up at the hospital. Robert knew these walls: he’s spent here too much time before. But what he was doing here? Did he manage to survive? But how? It’s just wasn’t possible. Not after such fall._

_His whole body felt numb and he tried to move his hands, but understood that he can’t as something was on the way. He looked down and saw that his hands and legs were tied to the bed with belts._

_“What the fuck?” He cried out._

_“Oh, I can see you came into senses.” The voice near him appeared. Robert turned his head to see a man in the form of the nurse standing back to him._

_“What is happening? Why am i lying like this?” He asked him and heard the man’s giggle._

_“Don’t worry. It’s all for you safety.” He answered and finally showed his face. And Robert flinched as it was him, a new Aaron’s love. His new boyfriend. He has the same grin on the face as Aaron had while Robert was falling down. And then he saw what he was holding in the hand._

_“No.” He began to shake his head and tried to get out of his trap. But he had no chance to do it. “Please, don’t.” He begged looking at the syringe in his hand. He used to hold it too several years ago but now he can’t let the man to do it. No way. “Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do everything you want. Just don’t do it!”_

_“Oh, relax, we both know you want it. How does they say? Once junkie – always junkie, yeah? Just lie down and enjoy your dreams.” The man whispered and the needle touched Robert’s skin. He began to scream._

Robert woke up in a terrible sweat, with the tears in his eyes. He was breathing heavily and room was spinning around. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. Couldn’t find a focus. He knew that it was only a nightmare. He had plenty of them before and he got used to them but still they had the same effect on him. Robert was scared. He remembered what his doctor’s has said to him: just make a deep breath and calmly count to ten and that’s what he’s done. It didn’t save the situation but he felt safer. And his next instinct was to call Andy. Andy was the only help when Robert has had nights like that. He always answered his phone and spoke with him as long as Robert needed it. He understood him. But now calling him wasn’t an option. Robert hasn’t had such dreams several months and he didn’t want to bother his brother with these stupidities. He’ll deal with it himself.

Having turned on the light he went to pour some water and take his laptop. It was 3 a.m. And he began to work. This night Robert did not sleep anymore.

* * *

“Robert, are you sure you’re ok?” Vic asked looking at her brother. Concern was written on her face. Robert’s puffy eyes were the first thing she’s noticed when he came through the door. And he looked exhausted.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just worked at night and lost the track of time. Didn’t have much to sleep.” Robert explained having said the half of the true. Vic had enough problems without him in her condition. “But i didn’t come to speak about me. I wanted to apologize for leaving yesterday. Felt really bad.” Robert made a sip of tea which Vic's made Adam to make for them before he and Lucy left.

“It’s alright.” Vic smiled to him but it was obvious that something else was on her mind. Robert waited silently till she spilled it out. “I know you’ve met Marc, Aaron’s boyfriend, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him and Aaron, I wanted to but...”

“Vic stop!” Robert said loudly. “I don’t want to speak about it!”

“No, you want to!” The woman protested knowing her brother to well. “No way I’m going to let you ruin yourself again. We’ve already been there, Robert. So right now tell me the real reason why you’ve left!”

Vic sounded so serious that Robert knew she won’t let it go. And also he knew that she was right. It was bad for him to keep things to himself. Sooner or later he’ll explode because of them and it won’t make him any good. So he needed to tell her. She was his family and who can help you more than your family, right?

“I couldn’t handle it.” He whispered and the pain in his voice was so obvious that Vic could feel her heart was breaking for her brother. She even felt tears coming to her eyes. But she didn’t say anything. She gave him his time to find strength to continue.

“I thought that I can handle with seeing Aaron and his new life, I really thought so, but it turned out that I can’t. I used to imagine him having a new boyfriend, because Aaron is the best bloke you could ever meet, and I was fine with this realisation but seeing him and this guy together...” Robert shook his head trying his best to hold the tears.

“You still love him, right?” Vic asked sympathetically. She felt guilt for Robert's being in such state. She's made him stay here and here's a result. She hoped that he was already over Aaron, but she was wrong. How could she not to see it?

“I feel like I'll never stop. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I ruined everything, and now he's the best thing in some other bloke's life and I can't change it. I just must to sit and watch.”

“Oh Robert, I’m so sorry!” Vic wanted to hug her brother. To show that everything’s ok and that she’s here with him. But she couldn’t because of the broken leg. So she just hold his hand and squeezed her slightly. “Maybe it wasn’t my brightest idea for you to stay here. Maybe it’s really better for you in Germany. Andy will understand, when we’ll explain everything to him.”

“No!” Robert replied categorically. “I’m staying. He’s my older brother and he helped me so much in recent years, so I’ll go on his wedding. And it’s good for me to stay here, you know.” Vic looked confused. She didn’t see how it was possible. She was only seeing Robert’s sufferings. And the man saw the puzzlement on her face so explained. “It seems that I’ve already seen the worst so I have nothing to afraid of anymore, isn’t it?”

“But Aaron and Marc...”

“Is Aaron happy with him?” That was the only question that mattered to Robert. He didn’t care anything else but Aaron’s happiness. God’s witness, he deserved it more than anyone.

“Yeah, it looks like that.” Vic answered quietly. She knew that Mark was a good match for Aaron and that he was making him really happy, but she wasn’t sure Robert is really need to hear it.

“Then I’m happy.” Robert tried to smile but Vic didn’t buy it. “I’ll just stay, make sure of it and I’ll accept it. Maybe seeing them is the only thing that I need to finally move on.”

“It’ll very hard, Robert!” The woman warned her older brother. She was really worried about him.

“I know, but with your, Andy’s and Diane’s help I’ll deal with it, right?”

“Of course! We’re family, aren’t we?!”

“That’s what I thought.” Now Robert looked a little bit happier. “And that’s why I’ve already booked a room in “B&B”.

“Seriously?” Vic cried out not being able to hide her happy smile.

“Yeah, I’ve called Diane and she was more than pleased to hear it and help me.”

“Oh, Robert, that’s an amazing news!” Vic exclaimed with the most shiny smile in the world. At least someone was sincerely happy to see him in the village. “Come here!”

Robert stood up and came to his sister, wrapping her in his arms. It was good to be with his family again. It was good not to feel so alone anymore.

* * *

 

“Can’t believe that he thought Finn was my boyfriend! Can you imagine it?” Marc laughed while they going down the street. Aaron decided to accompany his boyfriend to the bus station and then visit Vic before going to work.

But Marc couldn’t stop talking about last evening. He couldn’t stop dragging Robert in the conversation. This entire situation was a good laugh for him, but not for Aaron. He didn’t expect that evening would end like it did.

When he saw Robert in the pub he was shocked. And at the same time he was happy. Happy that he didn’t really avoid him. Well, probably. And the only thing Aaron wanted was to speak with him. Didn’t really know about what, but he just wished they could exchange at least couple of phrases. But he couldn’t do it in front of Chas, Charity and even this annoying as hell Andrew, who obviously put on eye on Robert, and Aaron needs to admit that he was not really pleased with it. But it was Robert who took all their chances on conversation away, as he’s suddenly stormed off out the pub. Aaron wasn’t stupid to understand that he was the reason. But his lost jacket gave him a great opportunity to follow him. Andrew wanted to give it to him, but Aaron insisted to do it himself and Chas discontentedly looked at him, though he didn’t pay to her any attention and left the building. But it would be better if he wouldn’t have done it at the end.

He knew that sooner or later Robert and Marc will meet again, but he wished this moment won’t happen so soon. He lost all ability to think or speak when he saw them together. More than anything in the world he wanted Marc not to say his name but he did and Aaron saw how Robert’s body shuddered. And here he’s got it – Robert didn’t know. For some reason his family didn’t tell him about Marc in Aaron’s life. Probably Robert just wasn’t really interested in it, but Aaron couldn’t not notice how Robert’s shoulders fell down of hearing Aaron’s name. And Aaron wanted to looked at his eyes and understand what he felt. He wanted to see if there are any feelings left there, but he didn’t show him. Didn’t let him. And then he literally run away. An Aaron knew what Robert felt at this moment, because he felt the same. It was pain.

When Vic finally arrived Marc told her how Robert left earlier, she listened very carefully and then looked at Aaron, and he could see worry and sadness in her eyes. He couldn’t hold her gaze. She wanted to call Robert and ask if everything is ok, but Andy didn’t let her, having whispered something on her ear and she agreed with him nodding with her head. It was like they had some secret and Aaron was dying to know it, because he was sure it was connected to Robert. But he couldn’t ask and couldn’t stay in their company far too long, as all his thoughts were full of Robert and he hated it. Hated to think and worry of other man while his real boyfriend was standing beside him. So he complained on the headache and went to sleep. Chas’s eyes never left him. He fell asleep thinking about Robert.

“Don’t know how him and Vic can be sibling. She’s so nice and kind and he’s just arrogant prick! Not surprised that everyone hates him!”

“Your bus has came!” Aaron pointed out on obvious, thinking it’s was a perfect time for it to do it. He hated to speak with the man about Robert. He hated to hear bad stuff about Robert from him. Yeah, he wasn’t perfect, but Aaron loved him once and Marc knows nothing about him.

“Oh, right!” Marc said and quickly kissed Aaron. “See you later then.”

“See you.” Aaron smiled to him with his casual smile and Marc left for the work.

Usually Aaron was waiting till the bus begins to move, but now he walked away from the bus station as soon as Marc entered it. He needed to speak with Vic. Actually he needed to speak with Robert, but he had to visit Vic first. He knows that nobody but her will tell him where the man can be found. He felt like she’s the only one who would understand. He just wanted to make sure that he and Robert are ok. He couldn’t understand why, but he really needed it.

Aaron didn’t even notice how he came to her house. He was going so fast and knocking so hard like it was some emergency. He couldn’t describe the urge of his to find a way to speak with Robert. Probably he just wanted finally to close the chapter, which was never really closed between them.

“Rob, can you open the door, please!” Aaron’s heard Vic’s voice and his heart sank. Robert was in there and he’s going to see him in the moment. And Aaron begin to think that all this idea of speaking with him was an absurd, that he’s an idiot and he needs to run away, and he almost turned around when the door’s opened.

“Aaron?” He’s heard the voice which was so painfully familiar. He closed his eyes and made a breath. So he wanted to meet Robert anyway, isn’t he?

“Hi.” He turned back to him and smiled. But the smile fast faded away, as he saw the state of the man. Puffy eyes and exhausted look made Aaron worried about him. He looked too tired, like he haven’t been  sleeping for several nights. “You alright?” He asked knowing that he had no chance to hide the sincerer worry in his voice.

“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well. You know, hotel room, all this new surroundings and a lot of work.” Robert answered and Aaron knew that he probably already told the same to Vic. But he didn’t believe him and the reason was simple: he was avoiding his eyes. He always did it when he tried to hide something from him. But Aaron had no right on insisting on him telling the truth. Not anymore. “If you came to Adam, then he’s already left with Lucy.”

“No, I came to Vic.” Aaron answered back but then understood that he didn’t need to speak with her anymore. “But actually I don’t have to see her now.” He continued and finally Robert looked at him. “I came to find out where I can find you.” He admitted honestly.

“Me? Why?” Robert sounded really surprised.

“Because I think we need to talk.” Aaron pronounced seriously and Robert nodded his head and steped back, having given Aaron a space to come in.

Together they came at the kitchen and Robert offered Aaron to sit down but he refused. Robert didn’t sit down too having leaned on kitchen counter.

“So what do you want to speak about?” Robert was the one who’s broken the silence. Still he didn’t look straight at Aaron and that was making a younger man angry. He didn’t really know what was a problem. But he didn’t say a word about it.

“I think you know.” Aaron said and by the motion of Robert’s head he could see that he was right.

“Yeah, I can guess.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry for running away like that yesterday. Felt really bad. It’s pity that I didn’t meet your boyfriend in other circumstances. He looks like a good bloke.” Aaron could feel how uncomfortable Robert felt speaking about Mark, thought he tried not to show it.

“I thought you knew about him.” That was half of the true. Till the moment Aaron didn’t even consider the possibility of such situation. He didn’t want to think about it.

“I didn’t, but it doesn’t matter, doesn’t it?” A faint smile appeared on Robert’s face. “But Vic said you’re happy with him, so think I need to congratulate you. You finally found a right one.”

It would be easier for Aaron if he believed him. If Robert’s looked into his eyes and said it. But he was looking at the floor, and it was speaking louder than words.

“I just...”

“Aaron, it’s ok!” Robert interrupted him and finally looked up. But still he didn’t look straight at him, but it was already something. “I don’t really think that we need to talk about it. I don’t really think that we need to talk about anything, if be honest.”

“I just want to make sure that we’re ok. That it will be no problems between us while you’re staying here.”

“Don’t worry, I’m here for my family. I have no plans to begin ruining lives again.” And that was the first words of Robert which Aaron believed to. It was like the only time he’s said the truth. And it made him sad that Robert thought that he was ruining lives here. And Aaron felt quilt, as he was the one who always told him this.

“Happy to hear.” Aaron almost whispered, and awkwardly turned his eyes on the floor as Robert did several minutes ago. He needed to discuss something else, but he didn’t like it, and he was sure Robert won’t be happy too, but he has no choice to make here. “Actually I need a favour. It’d probably be nothing to you.” Aaron wasn’t sure in that, but it slipped out of his tongue and he can’t take it back.

“Spill.” Robert said, listening carefully.

 “I need you not to tell Marc about...” Aaron couldn’t finish the sentence, as the words stuck in his throat. It was harder than he expected. But Robert was here to help him, if it’s possible to call a help.

“About us. I know. I figured it out that almost nobody here knows about past times. Just some old villagers, but somehow they keep silent. You’ve made a good job having kept my existence in your life in secret.”

“Robert…” Aaron began feeling like shit. He didn’t want Robert think like that, but he could see why Robert’s seen things in this light. Because that’s what exactly Aaron’s done, and he never realized how awful it was till this moment.

“It’s Ok. I get it and I’ll tell nothing to your boyfriend. You have my word.” Robert promised and Aaron believed him. He was speaking genuine and it wasn’t what Aaron’s expected. Knowing Robert he was waiting some kind of angry outburst or some waspish comments, but it’s never followed. Robert said it and turned to the sink. He turned on the water and began to wash dishes; probably he was helping Vic before with it before Aaron’s arrival. His message was clear: the conversation is over and Aaron can leave now.

He really wanted to say something before leaving but nothing has come to his mind. And he just left without any words. And the only think he felt was disappointment. He was disappointed with the conversation, with himself and Robert. He didn’t really know what he’s expected, but now he knew one thing for sure: he’s should never come here. He shouldn’t have spoken with Robert. It was a bad idea from the start. And despite Robert’s agreement to make him this favor, Aaron hated how it ended, because it’s past five years since his heart was beating as fast as now. Robert was doing it again. Robert began to make him crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't really know what i think about the result but i hope you enjoyed it!  
> Don't forget to let me know your opinion on this chapter or story!)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert becomes a witness of an interesting scene at the pub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope still there are people who read and like this story: thank you for this!  
> Enjoy!)

It was Robert’s idea to come here, at “The Woolpack”. After his conversation with Aaron he felt the urge to come here later. He couldn’t really explain what was his motivation but he knew that he should do it. Maybe it was his desire to show everyone and especially himself that he really can do it especially after last fiasco. If he's serious about moving on he’s better start working on it and facing his fears.

And actually it wasn’t that bad here. Luckily for him it was Charity behind the bar. She offered him a pint, but he asked for an orange juice. She looked at him suspiciously but said nothing. Instead she began to fill him in with some details of the life in Dales now. She’s dating Ross, which seemed weird, but she looked quite happy with it. Chas found her love in the face of detective Wise or just Jason, Robert knew that this man was known to him. Some of the villagers passed away: Sandy, Ashley and James. She even mentioned Whites, but he had no desire to listen about them and she’s got his mood. Mostly it was Charity who was talking. She was trying to ask him about his life abroad but he didn’t give her a lot of information, just that he lives in Germany and has a good job.

“Still single then?” She smiled him playfully. Oh, he knew why she was interested in it.

“Yeah. It turned out that I’m better on my own.” Robert answered evasively. It’ll be too pathetic if he’ll admit that he couldn’t have found himself happy with anyone after what he had with Aaron.

“And it’s a real pity to hear!” The third voice joined them. Robert recognised him from the day before. It was this annoying Andrew bloke. “You saw your face, mate? I’m surprised that I don’t see a line of men and women behind you wishing to get into your pants!”

“Well, but you are here, aren’t you?” Charity winked him and the man chuckled.

“Well I’m only human, aren’t I?” He answered back and turned to Robert, placing something in front of him. “Actually it’s good I met you. Found something recently, think it’s yours.”

Robert reluctantly looked at what the man has given to him. It was an old photo. The photo from his wedding: all guests gathering together for a pic. Robert and Chrissie were standing right in the middle, both were smiling. Chrissie’s smile was so pure, sincere and happy, while Robert’s was nothing more than a sham. Looking at this picture he wanted to vomit of memories of that day. He knew it’s passed six years already, but still he couldn’t erase the picture of dead Katie lying on the broken floor from his memory. That day he’s made two biggest mistakes in his life and sometimes he feels that he won’t ever forgive himself for them.

“Was married then? Need to say your bird was quite fit. Good choice!” Andrew shared his opinion, while Charity was pouring him a drink. Robert couldn’t tear his eyes of the picture in his hand as he noticed Aaron in the corner of it. He wasn’t really looking at the camera, but his mood was obvious by his posture. He looked tense and broken and with the corner of his eyes he was looking at Robert. Back then Robert didn’t even know that he’s made with this young mechanic, but now he knew and he wanted to kill himself. He ruined Aaron that day and didn’t even understand that. But now once again Robert was hurt by the memories and his thumb run over this beautiful, but sad face. He wishes he could return that day and took all his pain away like that.

“So why did you break up?” The young men made another attempt to begin a conversation. And Robert new that he had to answer something not to look too suspicious.

“Didn’t really love her.” He shrugged his shoulders, making his best effort to pull away from the photo.

“And cheated on her!” Charity added and Robert looked at her displeased. He knew that it will result in bunch of really unnecessary questions from Andrew.

“Yeah, and we’re not going to discuss it!” He warned at once. Charity wanted to say something, but she had no chance to do it as a young women appeared behind her screaming:

“You have no right to interfere in my life like that! I’m not a child anymore! And you are not my dad, you’re my brother!”

It took several moments for Robert to recognise her.  It was Liv. She wasn’t a girl anymore, bur a young beautiful woman. But she had this energetic in her which showed that she was still the same troubled girl with fighting spirit.

“And as your brother I tell you: if you’ll leave now, you can not to come back! You won’t be welcome here!” Furious Aaron followed her. And Robert knew this look he was giving to her, she was in real trouble and he wasn’t joking. The same look Aaron had during their last meeting. Robert would never be able to forget it. This look’s changed his life forever.

“Fine!” The girl answered aggressively and stormed out.

Aaron followed her with his eyes and then breathed out closing his eyes. First Robert’s thought was to come to man and to calm him down as he always did during Aaron’s trial against Gordon. But he knew that Aaron won’t appreciate it and probably it’ll make him even angrier.

Everybody was silently watching at the man when he opened his eyes again. He looked a little bit calmer, bur obviously the anger was still inside, and at once Aaron found his victim to let it all out. And it wasn’t Robert.

“You!” Aaron exclaimed looking at Andrew. “You knew, right?!”

“Aaron, listen...” Andrew began but Aaron shut him up.

“I can’t believe it, you knew!” Aaron growled irritated. “I said thousands of time that no way I’ll let them seeing each other!”

“Well, it’s not your choice to make! They love each other!” Andrew stood up and stared at Aaron. And here Robert knew that he wasn’t just some simple irritating young bloke, he was the man who you’d never want to cross the road to. Aaron made him really mad, and it seemed like Robert was the only one who didn’t know the reason which was behind it.

“Love?! Are you kidding me?!” Aaron cried out desperately. “Your Emily has no idea what love is! How many time has passed since she broke up with that Ben guy? A week? Or two?! And how long will it take for her to come back to him?”

“Oh, come on! She’s made a mistake bur now she got it! And she really loves Liv!”

“No, no, because she’s not capable of it! I was in Liv’s position and I’ll never let her to go through the same hell as I did! I know your sort of people!” Aaron answered back. And here Robert got the feeling that he knew what exactly Aaron meant, who exactly he was talking about. Yeah, he didn’t really know what all this was about, but he felt that the man’s words were somehow connected with him and he was afraid to hear the rest. Actually it’d be wise for him to stand up and leave right now, as Aaron obviously didn’t see him yet as he was too angry, but Robert didn’t make a move. He couldn’t.

“And what’s supposed to mean?!” Andrew continued their fight.

“You live in the big house, have a large business, a lot of money and because of it you think that you can have anything. You manipulate people, ruin their lives and then leave like nothing’s happened while others trying to take their lives together piece by piece. Such people like you are venom, you got under people skin and make them believe that they love you. You’re nothing but monsters and...”

“Aaron, calm down!” Charity interfered and put a hand on his shoulder but he brushed it off. Robert knew that the woman thought the same he did: he was referring to Robert, didn’t even realising that he’s sitting right here. He just needs to turn his head a little to notice him, but all his attention was focused on Andrew.

“I don’t care what lies your sister told Liv, I don’t believe her! For the past year she couldn’t have stopped to break her heart over and over again. Maybe you don’t see it, but I know that they’re better apart. At the end it’ll be Liv who will be suffering, not your little selfish sister. People like you is only doing that promising to change, to get better, but in reality it’s all a bullshit. You only care about yourselves.”

Aaron ended up hissing and Robert could barely hold his tears. For a moment he felt that he’s back at backroom of the pub when Aaron gave him in some way similar speech. And then he made him to leave. And Robert knew that right now the chances that Aaron was referring to someone else was quite rare. So that meant one thing: five years has passed and Aaron is still the same opinion of him. And realisation of it hurts. He shouldn’t have stayed here. Shouldn’t have come. And right now the scariest moment for him will be the moment when Aaron will finally see him, and that’ll definitely happen. He saw that Aaron let go of his anger for the most part, and soon he’ll calm down, come to his senses and see him. And Robert had no idea what he’s going to do then.

But actually he was disclosed even earlier that he expected.

“Robert, pet, that’s where you are!” Diane appeared in the pub and came to her stepson smiling widely. “I’ve been looking for you for ages! Your phone is off!”

“Oh, sorry, forget to charge it.” He smiled to her but it looked quite unnatural, and the woman noticed it at once.

“You alright, love?” She asked kindly and this time Robert really tried to smile her sincerely.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He wasn’t really sure that he sounded convenient. He could feel Charity looking at him, observing his face with interest. He also notice some old villagers, like Leyla, who was a witness of the scene, now was intrigued by what was happening. And of course Aaron was looking at him too. But Robert wasn’t going to look back. He saw and heard enough. “I guess you found me what I was asking for, yeah?”

“Yeah! The room you asked for is ready and it’s already waiting for you!” Diane couldn’t hide her happiness. Yeah, now she finally had her chance to spend more time with her stepson, who she loved like her own blood.

“Moving in then?” Charity asked him but he could notice that she was following Aaron with the corner of her eye.

“Well, if I’m staying for a while, then I want to spend it being near my family, so I asked Diane to book me a room in the “B&B”” He explained not even turning his head. He knows if he’ll do it, he’ll see Aaron and he doesn’t need it right now. “I think, I’m done here, so can we go and look at it now?”

Robert stood up knowing that Diane won’t refuse the idea. And she nodded her head proving his point. And Robert couldn’t wait to leave the place. It was nice to sit here, to chat with Charity and even this Andrew impressed him today. He began to feel comfortable again, being here, but then Aaron appeared and ruined all this illusion. He reminded Robert why he’s not the part of the place anymore. Probably today was the last Robert’s attempt to try to become a part of this world again. He tried and he failed. From now he’s going to spend less time in public and more with his family. And no, his idea of seeing Aaron every day and beginning to move on, probably won’t work. He really though this way that morning, but now... well he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He and Diane together left the pub and the man knew that Aaron’s eyes never left his back.

* * *

Aaron was angry. Incredibly angry at himself. How stupid was he to say all these things? He knew that they were mistake as soon they slipped of his tongue. But he didn’t realise how dangerous this mistake was unit he saw Robert. The minute he understood that the men heard all this was the moment he wanted to shoot himself. He was too consume with his rage to think of everything he was saying. It was one of his lash outs. He wasn’t thinking straight. He knows that he has problem with the anger, but everybody get used to it, but it didn’t help him feel less guilty.

He was on his break when he noticed Liv and Emily together, laughing and then kissing. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Couldn’t believe that his sister returned to this girl again. They began seeing each other as soon as Scrabs moved into villages. At first Aaron didn’t think anything bad about this, actually he was quite happy with Liv so easily accepting her sexuality, but then he began to notice things. Liv became too secretive, aggressive and he saw tears in her eyes, and that was too unusual for this girl. She acted weird and then he remembered when he himself acted like this: during his affair with Robert. Emily wasn’t married but turned out that she had some rich boyfriend in London, Ben, who comes to her in the village sometimes. When he’s here the girl forgets about Liv and that breaks Aaron’s sister heart every time, and when he leaves she comes back to her, like nothing’s happened and the worst part is that Liv takes her back. Aaron from his own experience knows what such relationships can do to you, so he did his best to stop it, but unluckily for him Liv was so similar to him, she didn’t listen. She promised him a week ago that it’s over for good now, but she lied. Yeah, she claimed that this time is different, that Emily won’t leave her again but Aaron said it too many times himself to believe her. And he said that he’ll never accept their relationships and the fight began.

It was a bad idea to show a whole pub their argument, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted his sister, his own blood, to understand him, listen to him and stay with him. He wanted her to be happy. But she didn’t want to see it, so she left. And he was too angry and he needed to take it out, and then he saw Andrew, Emily’s brother, and saw the opportunity. He said things, half of which he’s never meant, he didn’t even listen what was coming out of his mouth. And realization came to him too late. Robert’s heard every word and there was no way Aaron could take them back. He felt himself like the worst person ever and he wanted to scream to him that was a lie, that he wasn’t serious, but he couldn’t move. He felt numb. He could only watch like Robert was trying to smile to Diane, as if everything is ok, and then he left. And Aaron lost his chance to change the situation.

“Why didn’t you run for him?” Aaron recognised Andrew’s voice, who sat beside and put a pint in front of him.

He and Aaron never were friends, mainly because Andrew wanted to drug him into his bed and Aaron wasn’t satisfied with the idea. But he was a good guy, despite his attempts to show something opposite to it, Aaron liked to laugh with him and together with Adam they even went out several rimes. And earlier he knew that even if he’ll cross the line, as always happened because of their sisters, they’ll be alright. And he was right.

“Why would I do it?” Aaron answered, taking a pint, which he really needed right now. Andrew smirked.

“You know, earlier Robert told why his marriage was over.” Andrew said. “Well, actually Charity said it, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I immediately thought: “This man is really fit! Interesting, who was the lucky one?” And I was only going to ask everything about it when you appeared and I got my answer. You were the one which he was cheating with. Actually I don’t even know how I didn’t notice it yesterday, the way Chas acted around him and the way he run away when you came...  God, you guys are so obvious!” Andrew exclaimed.

“You’re out of you mind!” Aaron said, not wishing the man knew the truth. But it obviously was too late.

“If you say so.” Andrew chuckled, not buying his attitude. “But be careful looking at him like you looked at him today in front of Mark...”

“Don’t tell him!” Aaron didn’t mean to say it, but it slipped out. And Aaron gave himself away. Andrew laughed, probably expecting this kind of reaction.

“My lips are sealed.” The man assured him. “But still it’s not right to be with Mark and look like that on your ex, if you ask me. I’m not judging you, you know, but I don’t understand, why you’re with Mark while you’re...”

“Stop here!” Aaron commended until it was too late.

“Ok.” Andrew nodded his head. “But at least speak with Robert. I’m pretty sure you was speaking about him earlier, not my sister, and also I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean it. But Robert... I don’t think he got it. He looked like... like...” Andrew obviously had some problems with expressing his thought. Like he couldn’t find right words, and Andrew was rarely like that. “It looked like he still loves you and you’ve just killed him!”

These were his last words. He stood up, gave him a pat on the back and left. Aaron was left alone and here he’s known: most of all he was afraid of men’s words to be true.

 

 


End file.
